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20 Overlooked Single Player Indie Games
We're all familiar with the Hotline Miami's, Hollow Knight's, and Celeste's of the world. These are some of the indie games that hit the big time. Of course, for every one of these games, there's 100 other indie games that have been glossed over, relegated to a spot in a digital store few people will ever find themselves in. I wanted to bring attention to some of these lesser known indie games. I'm going to order them according to Metacritic Critic Ratings. Some of the games at the bottom have pretty low critic ratings. I personally disagree with the low scores of these games, but it's only fair that you hear from more than just me. Keep in mind that games with only one or two User Ratings on Metacritic will not show the score. A game needs at least three User Ratings on Metacritic before the score will be shown. This is not the case for Critic Reviews. Price will contain the U.S. PlayStation Store link to the game. 1. Hayfever
Description: Hayfever is a precision platformer that revolves around a mailman propelling himself using a number of different allergens that act as power-ups. A lot of the platforming is aerial and typically has you catching allergens mid-air to perform maneuvers in quick succession. It's not an easy game by any means, but it has oddly relaxing music to accompany the rather intense platforming. There are also letters to collect in each level to steepen the challenge and some secrets to discover too. It takes an hour or so to get used to the aerial platforming, and this is one of the few 2D platformers played better with the analog stick rather than the D-Pad. But letters that seemed unattainable to me at the beginning of the game became much simpler by the end, as I had mastered the controls and physics of the game. I don't expect everyone to love this game, but I have to agree with the one other guy who played it that gave it a 9/10. After putting 25+ hours into it, I am still eager to replay it soon.
Completion Time: ~8 Hours
Extra Content: It'll take another 8 hours or so to collect all the letters and probably about 6 hours or so to beat the Hard World, which features an additional 28 remixed levels. There are also secrets to uncover, but they don't net any in game progress and only work towards your trophy completion. Finding these secrets will probably vary more in time because they are hidden, but expect them to take a few hours to find. Just to clarify, letters are an expanded test of your platforming skills and are all in clear view of the screen, while secrets are a test of your observation skills and take a little more digging to find. The platinum trophy is a fair and rewarding challenge that took me about 25-30 hours to get.
Description: Valfaris is one of the best run & gun games I've ever played. You play as Prince Therion who returns to his home planet of Valfaris on a quest to kill his father. It's themed around a fictional planet and has a gross alien vibe coupled with heavy metal music. The music doesn't override the other audio in the game, and it does a nice job of upping the ante when you're fighting a boss – of which there are many. You're equipped with a primary gun, a more powerful mana-based gun, a sword, and a shield that can block with mana or parry. There are a number of weapons to acquire throughout the game, and the guns in particular do a great job of feeling different. You’re able to upgrade your weapons with Blood Metals. Some Blood Metals are found in plain sight, others are rewarded for defeating a tough enemy, and some are given for going off the beaten path. These upgrades typically just up the firepower but will sometimes introduce a secondary move to your weapon. There are checkpoints every two minutes or so, and most bosses will have a checkpoint just before them (only the weaker bosses come after a gauntlet of enemies). The game is a little hard at points, but overall it strikes a nice balance of feeling accomplished for overcoming the challenges without getting overly frustrating.
Completion Time: ~8 Hours
Extra Content: There are a few secrets to find throughout the game that are off the beaten path, though I was able to find 2/3 of them on my first playthrough. I found all but one weapon as well. The replayability comes from New Game+, which allows you to take all your upgraded weapons into a harder version of the game. Since the weapons all function a bit differently, this can be lots of fun. Getting the platinum trophy is somewhat difficult.
Description: The premise of the game is a fusion of side scrollers and oldschool fixed screens that teleport you to the opposite side of the screen when you pass through one side - think Pac-Man, arcade Mario Bros., or Balloon Fight. You will find obstacles in your path that are impenetrable in a typical side scroller, but can be overcome by holding a button to turn the screen into a fixed screen that allows you to pass through one side and out through the other end. This is a totally unique take on a puzzle platformer I haven't seen before, and all five worlds bring something new to the table. For example, World 2 will flip you upside down when you pass through a screen, allowing new types of challenges as a result. There's more emphasis on the puzzle elements than the platforming.
Completion Time: ~2 Hours
Extra Content: There is a New Game+, but from what I could tell from the beginning it wasn't a whole lot different. Still, there's a trophy for completing New Game+ and some other fun trophies. Unfortunately, like many early generation indie games, this one has no platinum trophy.
Description: This game revolves around using two square characters who fling themselves from one end of the room to the other to reach an exit. You must position yourself in such a way that you use each character's body to get around the level. Each world introduces a new mechanic to keep things fresh. The whole game is played only using the two analog sticks (the d-pad and face buttons work, but the two analog sticks are best, in my opinion). It can also be played in local co-op, however with how often you have to fling yourself around, coordinating the correct movements to the other player would be exhausting, and it is easier to experiment yourself.
Completion Time: ~3.5 Hours
Extra Content: There's really no extra content, but $4 for what's almost a 4 hour game isn't bad. There is an easy platinum trophy however.
Description: This is actually a sequel to the Steam exclusive Horizon Shift, which sports a different aesthetic and isn’t quite as good from what I’ve read. Horizon Shift ’81 mimics the look of a fixed screen shoot ‘em up from the early 1980s but comes with a few twists of its own. Your ship is positioned in the middle of the screen on a horizontal line rather than the bottom, and you have to flip between sides to deal with enemies coming from both the top and the bottom. The line can be broken in different places – leaving a gap where you can fall to your death – by asteroids and certain projectiles. This is where the expanded moveset comes into play: you can jump between gaps and also over enemies who attach themselves to the line. Enemies on the line can also be taken out with a horizontal shield bash that regenerates after a few seconds. There is a boss after every five stages, some of which will actually bring the line down to the bottom of the screen, while others retain it in the middle. Horizon Shift ’81 has a number of customizable settings that change everything from the aesthetics, to the difficulty, to the checkpoint/lives system, to the speed of the game, and more. The two main modes are a choice between three lives with a checkpoint before and after every boss, or a checkpoint at the beginning of every level but only one life.
Completion Time: ~3.5 Hours (Normal Mode on Arcade Style)
Extra Content: There are a number of ways to customize your future playthroughs, and there’s an unlockable boss rush mode after finishing the game. The few trophies are relatively easy to obtain. There is no platinum trophy for this game.
Description: Daggerhood's main hook is the use of its sword teleportation mechanic. You throw your sword with a button, and you press the same button again to teleport to where the sword is. While this is a mechanic that has been seen in some Metroidvanias, I haven't seen a tight, linear 2D platformer make use of this mechanic before. Each level has a number of collectibles and some small side sections as well, but for the most part the path to the finish is clear - it's just the execution that's the tricky part. Add in teleportation portals to make things even trickier.
Completion Time: ~2.5 Hours
Extra Content: As this is a Ratalaika Games published game, the platinum trophy only takes about 1-1.5 hours to achieve. You can get it well before you even finish the game, which is a shame because the game had all the makings for a fun platinum trophy. There are tons of collectibles in each level, and each level records your time. So there is a lot here to extend to the playtime.
Description: Usually with Metroidvanias, I expect a long, difficult game that's difficult to navigate. Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight is a counter to those ideas while still maintaining the exploratory nature of the sub-genre. The plot is pretty simple and doesn't feature a ton of story, but there are a few NPCs you talk to throughout your quest. The combat is also fairly simple, but the boss fights you engage in are all great. Without much weapon customization, it's stripped to the basics of dodging enemy attacks while trying to get a hit in. It makes for a game that's easy to get into and instantly start enjoying. All of the areas are visually appealing, some more than others, and each of them lasts shorter than you'd expect. The game is only around 3-5 hours, but it feels like you've played so much more in that time. Some games only really start to take off by the time this game finishes.
Completion Time: ~4 Hours
Extra Content: Getting 100% map completion should only take an hour or two of cleanup. I did miss an optional boss on my first playthrough. There are also items to discover, and the trophies give fun challenges to extend the life of the game. Unfortunately there is no platinum trophy for this game. One cool thing I liked was that beating a boss without getting hit at all gives you a useful item. It also features New Game+, allowing you to carry over most of your items, making the game more difficult, and changing up enemy placement.
Description: Ultra Hat Dimension follows Bea through a series of rooms in a palace on a quest to undo the magical spell that has made the mythical Spluff creatures want to attack one another. There is a little bit of backstory via one sentence thoughts from Bea in between levels, but nothing major here. The gameplay revolves equipping four different types of hats and using them to evade or push Spluffs around to retrieve the key and reach the door. Each Spluff dons one of four different hats which effects their behavior towards other Spluffs and you. You will be punched one tile back by every Spluff unless you’re wearing the same hat as the Spluff. Spluffs interact with one another differently depending on what hat they’re wearing in a rock, paper, scissors kind of way – they may punch a Spluff back one space, get into a scuffle that allows you to get close to them without wearing a hat, or they may temporarily disable them in a way that allows you to access the space the Spluff consumes within eight moves. There are undo and reset buttons included that allow you to quickly rewind mistakes. There are some clever puzzles accompanied by catchy tunes and a charming pixel art aesthetic. The difficulty is about average.
Completion Time: ~3 Hours
Extra Content: Since this is published by Ratalaika Games, getting the platinum trophy can be obtained after only clearing 2/3 of the levels. There are a few custom maps on the PC version of the game but no additional content on consoles.
Description: Remothered: Tormented Fathers feels very old school in its design philosophy - no weapons outside a few self defense items and distraction items. You go back and forth in the mansion and have to learn the layout and where things are to proceed. You have to manually select the key item from your inventory to use on triggers (but a key icon is still shown to guide you a little). The sounds in this game do a great job of evoking tension, and I appreciate that the stalkers don’t seem to teleport, so if you can get away from them, you’ve earned your freedom for awhile. This is the first game in a loosely connected trilogy, with the second one due later this year.
Completion Time: ~6 Hours
Extra Content: There are some collectibles you can go back for, but not a whole beyond that. Unfortunately there is no platinum trophy for this game, and you'll probably get most of the trophies - if not all, except the collectibles one - on your first playthrough.
Description: Reverie is a mix between Zelda’s gameplay, Earthbound’s aesthetic and humor, and a New Zealand folktale – the legend of Maui and the Giant Fish. Instead of the more traditional sword and shield style fantasy, Reverie instead opts for items and tools a modern boy is more likely to find in his possession, like a cricket bat, a yoyo, and a nerf gun. Similarly, the first dungeon is grandpa’s basement, where you’ll square off against a giant hedgehog and a tumble dryer. That said, the game does get more fantastical with the last two locations, particularly the last one. It’s a relatively easy game overall, though the fourth and especially fifth dungeon offer up a moderate challenge. The indie scene has produced a lot of Zelda-like games in recent years, but this is the only one I know of that isn’t your standard medieval fantasy.
Completion Time: ~5 Hours
Extra Content: There are feathers to collect, mini games to play, and a combat focused bonus dungeon to beat. That said, a lot of this stuff is easy to stumble upon in the main quest, so you’re probably looking at about two or three hours’ worth of content after beating the game to complete everything and get the platinum trophy.
Description: Inertial Drift's distinguishing characteristic is its employment of the right analog stick for drifting. This takes a little getting used to, but it feels great once you get the hang of it, creating some exhilarating moments when perfecting corner turns. The game has 10 unique tracks + 10 reversed tracks, 16 vehicles, and four separate story arcs. Each story arc is only a couple of hours long and features a different protagonist with a different vehicle. Since you’ll be racing on the same track a few times, there are a few gameplay variations that differ from just reaching the finish line at the end, such as racking up a certain number of points that are acquired through longer drift times and other means. There's quite a bit of dialogue between races, and in the races themselves characters will frequently dish out positive commentary on your performance in the form of text in the top left hand corner of the screen. The game's aesthetics are a fusion of anime and synthwave. I've heard many fans liken the game to the manga Initial D, though I'm unfamiliar with that series myself.
Completion Time: ~3 Hours (for 1/4 Story Arcs)
Extra Content: There are a number of different modes including a Story Mode, Challenge Mode, Grand Prix Mode, Arcade Mode, two player Split-Screen, and Online, as well as a Tutorial. Completion of challenges in Challenge Mode allows you to unlock new vehicles for the other non-Story Modes. Grand Prix Mode allows you to race using different characters/vehicles through a connected set of challenges, while Arcade Mode is for one-off races. I wouldn't recommend this game for online play as the user-base is pretty small (hence it being overlooked) and you're unlikely to find a match. Getting the platinum trophy is fairly difficult.
Description: This is an action platformer that emulates arcade games from the latter half of the 1980s, but it is probably most reminiscent of Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts. The creator, Locomalito, states that the soundtrack uses the true arcade sound of the YM2203 chip. The game is hard, but the checkpoints are never more than a minute or two apart, and the lives' system/continue system has no penalties outside of locking you out of trophies. This is a very boss dense game - in the ~4 hour run-time it takes to complete the game, you fight 19 bosses. The handful of weapons and items you pick up helps lend variety to the combat, and no two boss fights feel the same.
Completion Time: ~4 Hours
Extra Content: The game has two endings. Most players will get the bad ending the first time around and be locked out of the final stage (which is the longest stage in the game). You do have to play through the game again to get the good ending, but you'll likely do it in half the time. If you want to see all the major content on your first go around, I recommend looking up how to get the good ending before you play the game. As far as trophies are concerned, the platinum trophy is very difficult to obtain. If you like an extreme challenge, this one's for you.
Description: Pato Box follows an anthropomorphic duck boxer on an adventure through a stylistic noir comic book world. “Pato” is a Spanish word that translates to “Duck” in English (the game was developed by a Mexican studio). The boss fights are heavily inspired by Punch-Out’s gameplay, but there are levels outside of these fights to help differentiate it. Most of the levels can be selected in any order you choose and typically serve as a leadup to the boss fight. Bosses are usually introduced by a cutscene followed by some dialogue taunting Pato Box. The levels play entirely differently from the fights, but the themes of the level match those of the bosses. The levels will employ various elements of evasion, stealth, exploration, and a few time-based mini-games. The casino level, for example, will have you walk around the casino looking for chips and punching the slot machines to earn enough to pay entrance to the fight, while the food factory has you evading stompers, sawblades, and butcher knives as you work your way through the level. There are variety of things to find throughout the levels: tokens for decorations in Pato Box’s room, backstory on the boss of the level and the world, and tips on how to win the upcoming fight. The fights themselves lock Pato Box in the middle of the screen, allowing you to block, juke left or right, and perform a low or high jab to the left or right. The game foregoes a HUD in favor of a visual representation of your health via scars on your body, which I thought was a nice touch. While the levels and bosses play pretty differently from each other, they’re weaved together by a dark and intriguing story that follows Pato Box’s quest for retribution against an evil corporation.
Completion Time: ~7 Hours
Extra Content: There’s an Arcade Mode that lets you replay boss fights and some collectibles to find in the main campaign. The trophies are very difficult, and many ask you to beat a boss without taking a single hit.
Description: The Count Lucanor’s story is very fairy tale-esque – more like a classic fairy tale as it can be pretty dark and grotesque at times. On his 10th birthday, Hans chooses to leave his mother in a quest for wealth. After some walking and conversation with NPCs you find along the way, you stumble upon a large mansion and find that the count of this mansion is looking to pass his wealth onto an heir who can prove himself worthy – “worthy” in this case being the one who can figure out the count’s name. From here, you are tasked with adventuring through the mansion and solving environmental puzzles in a nonlinear way to acquire the letters that spell the count’s name. There is a survival horror element to the game, as you are unable to attack the enemies in the mansion and instead must crawl under tables and find other ways around them. You can place candles around the mansion to light it up to help you better evade enemies, but your usage is limited (though you can find more).
Completion Time: ~4 Hours
Extra Content: There are five different endings and some puzzles/rooms you don’t even have to do. This could double your playtime – maybe even more if you don’t use a guide. The platinum trophy requires every ending and a few other things but is pretty easy to get if you use a guide.
Description: The Bunker is an FMV point & click adventure, meaning it features real actors and environments just like a live action movie. Many of the actors involved have been in high profile movies/TV shows as well, including The Hobbit, Game of Thrones, Star Wars, and Penny Dreadful. The game takes place in a fallout shelter and follows the last survivor as he tries to find a way outside following the death of his mother, after living 30+ years in the bunker. The gameplay has you solving puzzles and finding ways to proceed to the next area. The story is the focal point of the game though, and it frequently switches between the past and the present to tell its story. There’s a good juxtaposition between the lively past and the lonely present that makes you question how the protagonist ended up as the last survivor. There’s only one narrative choice to make in the game, and it comes at the very end. The game also works in handheld mode with touchscreen functionality if you'd prefer to play it that way.
Completion Time: ~2. Hour Completion Time*
Extra Content: You can replay the game and try to find all the collectibles. Most of them give more background on the story. You can trigger the ending you did not choose the first time around by simply reloading the last checkpoint, so there is no need to play through the whole game again to unlock it. Getting the platinum trophy is fairly easy.
Description: A Tale of Paper takes direct inspiration from Little Nightmares, sporting the same sideview camera angle and minimalist narrative. It’s a little less creepy and has the interesting twist of transforming into a variety of different origamis on the fly: from a little alien creature, to a frog, to a ball, to a paper airplane, etc., all with the push of a button. You’ll use a combination of different origami shapes to overcome the obstacles in the area, and you’ll be accompanied by some gorgeous sceneries in the process. The gameplay is pretty easy in both its platforming and puzzles, making it an easygoing, movie-esque kind of game. While the story is minimalist, it results in a satisfying conclusion, and it really feels like you’ve been through quite a journey even with the short runtime. The game evokes the feeling of being a tiny specimen in a larger-than-life world – Toy Story 2 is probably the most apt comparison I can make. Outside of Little Nightmares, I haven’t played another game quite like this.
Completion Time: ~1.5 Hours
Extra Content: I got seven of the eight origami collectibles in my first run-through. The trophies also only offer a few extra things to do, but I’d recommend reading the list of trophies before you play the game if you want to get the relatively easy platinum trophy.
Description: If you liked Detroit: Become Human or Until Dawn, Late Shift will be right up your alley. This game is a bit different from both those titles in that it's an FMV, with the gameplay solely consisting of the choices you make. You receive prompts at key moments in the story on what you want your character to do next, and this effects the outcome of the game. It plays more like Black Mirror's Bandersnatch, though this game came before it. The story follows an everyman who gets tangled up in London's criminal underground just as a result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Completion Time: ~1.5 Hour Completion Time*
Extra Content: There are 180 choice points and 7 different endings. There is a platinum trophy, and I only got 4 out of 21 of the trophies on my first playthrough. There are a number of different routes to take with the game.
Description: SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption is a Soulslike boss rush - there are no levels and only small area before each boss to practice your moves. There are eight bosses, the first seven allowing you to fight in any order, each representing the seven deadly sins. You are equipped with everything the game has to offer from the beginning (except for the New Game+ weapon they give you), and instead of becoming more powerful, you gradually lose things with each boss you defeat, hence the “sacrifice” in the title. It’s like a reverse RPG. Each boss has a different sacrifice associated to it – one may deplete your throwing items’ usage, while another will deplete your health and stamina. Picking the best order to fight them in adds a little strategic thinking to the game, as you may be more dependent on your large health and stamina bar more than your throwing items’ usage, for example. The game is fairly difficult, so your victories over each boss feel very gratifying when they do come.
Completion Time: ~5 Hours
Extra Content: There is New Game+ that offers you an additional weapon. The trophies task you with a few things you have to pull off in battles, and the platinum trophy is pretty easy to obtain.
Description: Verlet Swing’s aesthetic is as intriguing as its gameplay: you are tasked with grappling and swinging yourself across these vaporwave styled levels without hitting anything. The levels are all very short, but you’re likely to play many levels dozens of times before even finishing it… just to get a 1/4 rank. The ranking system is actually very cool, in that it encourages you to find alternative paths or sometimes just building up more momentum to get to the end faster. Most levels do seem to have a set path, but at the same time, with the proper grappling of the mechanics, you can forge your own, which is a game in itself.
Completion Time: ~7 Hours
Extra Content: There’s an in game challenge menu that mostly recycles a lot of the base game content – though there’s a particularly funny one that switches the perspective to third person to play as a knockoff Spiderman. You can also go back and try to get the best possible time for each level. Getting the platinum trophy is extremely hard and I believe is at 0.1% completion.
Description: Neon Drive is a challenging rhythm game with a synthwave aesthetic and appropriately matching music. The objective of the game is to evade the obstacles coming at you by transitioning between four lanes at the right moment using either two of the face buttons, D-Pad, or shoulder buttons. Personally I found the shoulder buttons worked best. The game will occasionally transform you into other vehicles that mix the gameplay up a bit - one notable example is when you turn into a plane and transition between eight lanes in a 360 degree orientation. There are only eight levels that are all about three minutes in length if you were to beat them with no deaths, with two checkpoints and two health points that regenerate between checkpoints. While this all sounds very generous, most of these levels will still take you dozens of tries, though the life reset is almost immediate so you can get back into the action right away.
Completion Time: ~3 Hours
Extra Content: There are two harder difficulties, an endurance mode that sees how long you can go without dying, a free run mode that allows you to play through the game without reset (only unlocked after beating each level), and online leaderboards. The trophies are very hard to get, and there is no platinum trophy.
Conclusion My top 5 on the list in order would be the following: (1.) Hayfever, (2.) Valfaris, (3.) Cursed Castilla: (Maldita Castilla EX), (4.) Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight, and (5.) Bleep Bloop. Have you played any of these games? What are some other overlooked single player indie games? If you’re looking for more indie games to play, see my post here:
[USA] [H] Nintendo - Games, Consoles, Collectibles; PlayStation - Games & Consoles; Xbox - Games & Accessories; Dreamcast - Games & Accessories; New swap items at the top of the list [W] Chrono Trigger (SNES - CIB or just everything but the game); Pulse Headset (PS5)
Bundles take priority. I'd love to get rid of this stuff. New Stuff Switch Lite - Gray. Comes with aftermarket charger & carrying case. No memory card or games. The right stick has a strange issue seen in the video here, I've ordered a new analog stick to replace it with but I believe this could be considered drift and Nintendo would replace it under warranty. Either way, happy to find a good solution. Edit I’ve replaced the right analog stick and it’s working like a charm now. GameCube bundle - Of the few pickups I've been able to get in on during the last several months, this one is my favorite yet. Comes with a black GameCube with original box (the box is a little beat up), all OEM hookups, a black OEM controller, and the following games: Super Smash Bros. Melee (CIB), Mario Party 4 (CIB), Mario Kart Double Dash (disc & case - the case is the bonus disc holder but doesn't actually include the disc or any manuals/inserts), Timesplitters 2 (CIB), Avatar (CIB), Star Wars Rogue Leader: Rogue Squadron (CIB), Hunter: The Reckoning (loose) and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (CIB, however the disc isn't reading in this console. I'm going to try a couple other ones and see if I can bring it back to life. It looks like it's in perfect shape, so I have no idea what the problem could be). Edit Twilight Princess worked in both Wii’s I tried it in as well as 3/4 of my personal gamecube consoles. While it seems like there’s an issue that makes it takes a stronger laser to read it, it works as shown here. I also have a loose Pokemon Emerald. It's authentic, I've soldered in a new battery as well. The label isn't great, though. Pics here I picked up a red GBA SP - AGS-001. Works just fine, scratched up a bit on the outside shell, comes with aftermarket wall charger. Also came with a bunch of loose GBA games: Zelda: A Link to the Past/4 Swords Adventures; Namco Museum; Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team; Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories; Spyro Orange: The Cortex Conspiracy; Sonic Advance 3; Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. Same pickup I got a crimson & black DS Lite that needs a new inner top housing to keep it from flapping about. Still works great, but that's the common fatal problem with these consoles. I've ordered a new shell for it and am planning to re-house it, but if you're interested as-is, just let me know. Nintendo Collectibles
Gray console, very nice shape. Includes aftermarket charging brick and carrying case, as well as a spare screen protector. No memory card or games included. The right stick has a strange issue seen in the video here, I've ordered a new analog stick to replace it with but I believe this could be considered drift and Nintendo would replace it under warranty. Either way, happy to find a good solution. Edit I’ve replaced the right analog stick and it’s working like a charm now.
Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness & The Secret Hideout
Sealed
Picked up an extra copy to keep sealed during the recent restocks. Figure if someone else will open & play it, might be a good token to trade.
Ys VIII
Cart & Case Only
Adventurer's Edition, however it doesn't have any of the inserts. Just the case and the cartridge.
Nintendo Wii/U
Title
Condition
Notes
Console WiiU
Used
Black 32GB console. Very nice shape. Includes the OEM power supply & sensor bar, gamepad (in excellent condition -- no stylus or original charging brick, but it will come with a USB-to-gamepad cable. It doesn't work nearly as well at charging the gamepad, I'd recommend picking up an OEM charging brick/cradle if you don't already have one).
Console Wii RVL-101
Used
Black console. Later model that doesn't have GC controller ports or back compatibility. Comes with all OEM hookups. Tested & works great. I'm happy to softmod it too, if you'd like.
WiiMote
Accessory
3 OEM Wiimotes - 2 white (one original, one with Motion+ built in), and one black (has Motion+ built in). The two white Wiimotes have wrist straps, and each seems to have at least some minor little puppy bite marks (?). One of the white ones has a silicone sleeve, and the non-M+ one has a black silicone sleeve with the M+ adapter. They're all tested and work great.
Birthday Party Bash
Loose
Tested, reads at least past the title screen. Can't say I've done any more birthday party bashing after that.
Just Dance 3 (Wii)
CIB
Nice shape
Just Dance 4
CIB
Nice shape
Just Dance 2016
CIB
Nice shape
Nintendo (3)DS
Title
Condition
Notes
Console Black DS Lite
Used
Nice overall condition, bottom screen has some scratches that I've tried to capture in the pictures. Comes with OEM charger. Pics
ConsoleBlack DS Lite
Used
Excellent overall condition. Tested & working. Doesn't have the GBA slot cover, but does include a stylus and aftermarket charger. Pending swap
Console Zelda Edition DS Lite
Refurbished
Nice overall condition, the top hinge was cracked so I had to replace the top housing, but everything else is original. I'll include the original top housing if you want it, too. Pics
Console Parts DS Lite
FPNW
This is a bag of leftovers from a couple of housing swaps. Bad top casings, cracked top LCD, broken power slider. Surprisingly, the other things all work great on one of them. Lots of decent parts to harvest. Battery, cartridge reader, metal hinge, bottom housing, bottom screen, etc. Pics. I also have the housing and buttons leftover from the other one I shell-swapped, it's black & blue. Ok condition overall.
Poor condition but tested & working. Looks like a dog got to it at some point.
Nintendo Gamecube
Title
Condition
Notes
Console Black DOL-001
Used
A little bit dirty but I'll see if I can clean it up some. It's the early model with the digital AV out. Tested & works great. Comes with OEM hookups & a black OEM controller. Also has the original box with precautions booklet, although the box is a bit beat up.
The disc isn't reading in the console I just picked up. I'm going to try a couple other ones and see if I can bring it back to life. It looks like it's in perfect shape, so I have no idea what the problem could be Edit it works in the 2 Wii’s I tried it in as well as 3/4 of my personal gamecube consoles. It seems like it has an issue that makes it need a stronger laser to read, but it’s not a lost cause.
Mario Kart Double Dash
Case & disc only
Tested & working, the case is the bonus disc holder but doesn't actually include the disc or any manuals/inserts. Sold elsewhere
Mario Party 4
CIB
Great shape, tested & working
Super Smash Bros. Melee
CIB
Tested & works great. Original case art, not best seller or other variant. Pending swap
Case-swapped with a gray cartridge, the other was completely busted. I'll include it if you want it. Original label has been glued on to this one. Pics for reference are toward the end of this album. Pending swap
SNES
Title
Condition
Notes
Mario All Stars + Super Mario World
Loose
Top of label has a couple of peeled off parts, like someone took a fingernail to it at some point. Pics
Super Mario World
Loose
Tested & working
Game Boy
Title
Condition
Notes
Console GBA SP AGS-001
Loose
Red, tested & works great. Includes aftermarket charger.
Castlevania Adventure, The
Loose
Some tearing on the label. I can get pictures if needed. Tested & working.
Finding Nemo
Loose
Tested & working
Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
Loose
Tested & working
Legend of Zelda, The: A Link to the Past/4 Swords Adventures
Loose
Tested & working
Namco Museum
Loose
Tested & working
Pac Man Special Color Edition
Includes cart, box, manual, and cardboard tray
Great shape (Game Boy Color)
Pokémon Emerald
CIB
Hard trade. Includes poster. Only looking to swap this toward similarly valued items. Pics here
Pokémon Emerald
Loose
Soldered in a new battery so the clock-based events will work. Label isn't great, but is at least still intact. Pics here
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team
Loose
Tested & working
Pokémon Pinball
Loose
Missing battery cover
Pokemon Red
Loose
Good condition with some label wear. Battery holds a save.
Power Rangers: Dino Thunder
Loose
Tested & working
Power Rangers: Wild Force
Loose
Tested & working
Sonic Advance 3
Loose
Tested & working
Spyro Orange: The Cortex Conspiracy
Loose
Tested & working
Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith
Loose
Tested & working
Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World
Loose
Tested & working
Super Mario Land
Loose
No label.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Radical Rescue
Loose
Nice shape. Tested & working.
Tetris
Loose
Nice shape. Tested & working.
Tom & Jerry: The Magic Ring
Loose
Tested & working
Tony Hawk: Pro Skater 2
Loose
Tested & working
Game Boy Carrying Cases
Accessory
I have a bunch of these. If you're interested, I can grab pics.
NES
Title
Condition
Notes
Bandai Golf: Challenge Pebble Beach
Loose
Tested & working
Big Bird's Hide & Speak
Loose
Tested & working
CONFLICT
Loose
Tested & working
Demon Sword
Loose
Tested & working
Fester's Quest
Loose
Tested & working
Ikari Warriors
Loose
Tested & working
Kid Kool
Loose
Tested & working
NARC
Loose
Tested & working
NES Play Action Football
Loose
Tested & working
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Arcade Game
Loose
Tested & working
Top Gun: Second Mission
Loose
Tested & working
WCW Wrestling
Loose
Tested & working
PlayStation PS4, PS3
Title
Condition
Notes
2 DualShock 3 controllers – Black and camo – PS3
Accessory
Both OEM, both work great.
Killzone 3 Rifle Peripheral - PS3/4
Accessory
Tested & working
PS Move Eye Camera - PS3
Accessory
Tested & working
PS Move Controller - PS3/4
Accessory
I have 1 of these available, no strap.
Just Dance 3 – PS3
CIB
Tested & working
MLB The Show '16 – PS3
CIB
Tested & working
Resident Evil 2 – PS4
NIB
New in plastic
Rocksmith (no guitar included) – PS3
CIB
Tested & working
The Outer Worlds – PS4
NIB
New in plastic
Tiger Woods PGA Tour '12 – PS3
CIB
Tested & working
Uncharted - Drake's Fortune – PS3
CIB
Tested & working
Uncharted 2 – PS3
CIB
Tested & working
Uncharted 3 – PS3
CIB
Tested & working
Playstation Portable, Vita
Title
Condition
Notes
Console PSP 3000
Used
Tested & working. Now it has a new battery as well as battery cover on the back. It also includes a Sony M2 Duo adapter, and a 4GB M2 card. The screen has some scuffs on the left side, not visible while playing but they're definitely there. Also includes an aftermarket charger.
3rd Birthday, The - PSP
CIB
Tested & working, very nice condition. Pending swap
Blazing Souls – PSP
Loose
Tested & working
Coded Arms – PSP
CIB
Nice condition
Darkstalkers Chronicle – PSP
Loose
Tested & working
Disgaea Infinite – PSP
Loose
Tested & working
God of War: Chains of Olympus – PSP
Loose
Tested & working
God of War: Ghost of Sparta - PSP
CIB
Tested & working, very nice condition.
Hard Rock Casino – PSP
CIB
Nice condition
Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep - PSP
CIB
Tested & working, very nice condition.
Madden '06 – PSP
Loose
Tested & working
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 – PSP
CIB
Tested & working
Midnight Club 3 – PSP
CIB
Nice condition
Little Big Planet - PSP
CIB
Tested & working, very nice condition.
Lord of Arcana - PSP
UMD & Case only
Tested & working, very nice condition.
Spectral Souls – PSP
Loose
Tested & working
Star Wars Battlefront 2 - PSP
CIB
Tested & working, very nice condition.
Valkyria Chronicles 2 - PSP
CIB
Tested & working, very nice condition. Pending swap
Wild Arms XF – PSP
Loose
Tested & working
Worms: Open Warfare – PSP
CIB
Nice condition
Persona 4 Golden - Vita
Loose
Tested & working
SEGA Dreamcast
Title
Condition
Notes
OEM White controller
Accessory
Tested & working
Intec Purple Controller
Accessory
Tested, works fine
Buzz Lightyear: Star Command
Disc only
Tested & working
Centipede
Disc only
Tested & working
Chicken Run
CIB
Great shape
Dave Mirra's Freestyle BMX
CIB
Great shape
Disney's Dinosaur
CIB
Cracked case edge
Jeremy McGrath Supercross
Disc only
Tested & working
NFL Blitz 2001
CIB
Great shape
Quake III Arena
CIB
Great shape
Resident Evil: CODE Veronica
Discs & aftermarket cases
Tested & working
San Francisco Rush
CIB
Great shape
Sega Bass Fishing
CIB
Great shape (Sega All-Stars)
Sega Smash Pack: Volume 1
Disc & case, cracked front lid
Tested & working
Sno-Cross Championship Racing
CIB
Great shape
Super Runabout: SF Edition
CIB
Great shape
Tomb Raider Chronicles
CIB
Great shape
Vigilante 8: Second Offense
CIB
Great shape
Virtua Fighter 3tb
Disc & aftermarket case only
Tested & working
WWE Royal Rumble
CIB
Great shape
Xbox One, 360, OG
Title
Condition
Price
OEM Wireless Controllers - 360
Accessory
I have 4 spares, 3 black and 1 white, as well as a couple of charging cradles & rechargeable battery packs. Missing the actual battery covers, though.
Rock Candy Wired Controller - 360
Accessory
Comes with the USB breakaway cable but it's kind of janky.
Microsoft Kinect - XBO
Accessory
Model 1520 for Xbox One
Speed Wheel - 360
Accessory
Tested & working.
Gibson Xplorer - 360
Accessory
Tested & working. Comes with stickers pre-installed and a shoulder strap.
Batman: Arkham Asylum (Game of the Year Edition) - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Batman: Arkham City (Game of the Year Edition, 2 disc setup) - 360
Disc 1 only
Tested & working
Burnout 3: Takedown - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Call of Duty 3 - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Chromehounds - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Disney Pixar Cars - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Elder Scrolls, The: Skyrim - 360
Disc only
Tested & working
Elder Scrolls, The: Oblivion (Game of the Year Edition, 2 disc setup) - 360
Disc 1 only
Tested & working
Fallout 3 (Game of the Year Edition) - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Gears of War - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Gears of War 3 - 360
CIB
Tested & working
LEGO Batman/Pure Dual Pack - 360
CIB
Tested & working
LEGO Batman (same dual pack as above, but doesn't include Pure) - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Lost Planet: Extreme Condition - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Madden 09 - OG
CIB
Tested & working
Madden 11 - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Minecraft - 360
Disc only
Tested & working
MotoGP - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 - 360
CIB
Tested & working
NBA Live 2005 - OG
CIB
Tested & working
NBA Live 06 - 360
CIB
Tested & working
NCAA Football 09 - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Skate 3 - 360
Disc Only
Tested & working
Splinter Cell: Blacklist - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Transformers: Dark of the Moon - 360
CIB
Tested & working
Triple Play 2002 - OG
CIB
Tested & working
Walking Dead, The: Survival Instinct - 360
Disc only
Tested & working
Zoo Tycoon - 360
CIB
Tested & working
WANT Chrono Trigger (SNES) - I have my childhood cart already, but I'd be interesting in picking up the box & all the inserts if you have them Pulse Headset (PS5) Borderlands Legendary Collection (Switch) Original hard case for PS Vita Slim - my kid broke the hinge on mine and the Amazon replacement is... not good. Castlevania (GBA) - Looking for all 4 games: NES, Aria of Sorrow, Harmony of Dissonance, Circle of the Moon. Double pack would be great, too. Mega Man Battle Network games: Network Transmission (NGC), MMBN 2 (GBA), Battle Chip Challenge (GBA), MMBN 4 : Blue Moon (GBA), MMBN 5: Team ProtoMan & Team Colonel(GBA) & Double Team DS (NDS), MMBN 6: Cybeast Gregar (GBA) Dreamcast OEM Memory Card, Quality Games (Sonic Adventure 2, Skies of Arcadia, etc.) Pokemon: SoulSilver (Bix box & cardboard tray only, already have the game & case. The Pokewalker & its' manual would be a plus, but not a requirement) NES/SNES/N64/GameCube/Switch Offers Note: I currently have most first-party/major release Switch games. Feel free to still offer, though. No interest in Amiibo or Amiibo Cards.
My Poker Journey, From Online Crusher, to Feared Live Pro
*record scratches* Yep that's me. You're probably wondering how I got to betting my last $15 preflop at 5NL. It all started when I was twelve years old with a little something called Luigi picture poker. This was obviously before I was even into furry porn, and my life still held promise for the future. Now, my wife has left me, I've still never had sex, and I've finally lost the custody battle for my three children. This is my story. By any metric I was a young whipper snapper. My historic run at 25NL really was something out of a comic book, and anyone who saw me play agreed that I had what it took to play 100KNL with The Baron and Linus. I started playing when I was only thirty-two, stealing my mother's credit card from off her dresser whenever she made the mistake of leaving it out in the open, usually maxing it out to as much of the $500 spending limit that remained on it. She was a single mother, my father had left when I was only seventeen, leaving her to care for me alone. She worked hard at the casino slots to provide for herself and me, and my dream with poker, the thing that kept me focused through all the bad beats and variance, was to one day repay her for everything she had done for me. My career had no doubt been a rocky one, but after over three years of playing I had finally run up a FIVE HUNDRED dollar bankroll, which was enough to take a shot. To make my move. I was headed to the Borgata in Atlantic City to play $5/$10 Unlimited Texas Hold Them poker, minimum buy-in $500. I knew I was ready. You see, online poker is a LOT tougher than live poker, and the adversity I had endured molded and chiseled me into a world class player, both in terms of technical skill, and making big hands. That very night, my mom had just kicked me out for using her credit card without permission again (women, right?), but I wasn't worried one bit. Because I knew. Tonight, I'd be rich. I got to the casino that night around 3:00 pm. I was ready to play, to bring my best in a world-class lineup, and I knew I'd fit right in. I picked up my rack of chips, and took a seat to prove my worth. I played tight for an hour, folded mostly. Then I made a score. Rags. I opened the CO with pocket fours to $30 and the button snap-3bet me to $130. He knew I was new. But I had seen this guy 3bet before, and this time I wouldn't be pushed around. I bet all-in! THREE HUNDRED and TWENTY ONE dollars! I was gonna put this punk to the test. And you know what happened? He CALLED me with Ace Nine off suit! I was repping ACES, and he called me with ace nine off suit. The board ran out KK993. Sometimes the fish get lucky and there's nothing you can do. All you can do is get it in good. Devastated I checked my online account for any rakeback I might have. I threw it down at 5NL. This was my last stand. I quickly doubled, my KJs sucking out against AK for 150bb preflop, classic cooler turned bad beat when I turned the nut straight. And so everything was ready for the final hand. I opened the CO J7dd, and the button 3bet me to 10bb. I had seen this before an knew he was weak. I 4bet big. He 5bets. I knew what I had to do. There comes a time in every man's life where he has to make a choice between the right way, and the easy way. And I'll go to my grave proud of the choice I made that day, to 6bet all-in. I'm broke now but I'm more than happy to get staked for my main game, $5/$10 at the Borgata.
I traveled to a casino to play a tournament this weekend. Qualified for day 2 but got coolered twice in a row and busted so I went straight to the cash game table. This hand is played at 5/10 limits I raise 30$ K10 of spades on the button, small blind folds big blind 3-bets to 120$. He's been doing that all night and been very aggressive pre. I call Flop comes Q93 rainbow. He bets almost 2/3 pot 180$, I decide to raise to 500$, he tanks for a while calls, Turn comes a 10, he checks I check back and decide to make a decision depending on the river but mainly giving up. The river is another 3. He immediately announces all-in, we are playing for my effective stack of 2200 ish. My first thought was to initially give up, but I was looking at the hand and his timing to make decisions on literally every street was weird and so different to every other hand I played with him. Whether he bluffed or had the nuts he would tank for over 30sec. But this time he didn't take more than 3 seconds to call, raise or go all-in. Now the fun parts come, I look at him to get some information and for some speech play and I shit you not he was shaking like a Nokia 3310. It was so extreme I first thought of a terrible reverse tell at first, but then I look at his pulse and it looks like he's a few seconds away from a heart attack. I take another few seconds and throw a chip in. He turns AK for a complete bluff. The entire table of 60+-year-old look at me as if they had just seen Jesus. Heard the usual, "you really want to burn your parent's money" (I look very young) "You're not gonna last long here making plays like this, but good call" Guess the lesson here is if you are 6k down on the session and know you can't control your emotions, you should probably wear a hoodie or cover yourself at least a little when making a 200bb bluff! It's not that crazy of a hand, but thought it was good enough to share! Made 4.8k profit at the juiciest 5/10 I ever played. Oh and also, for dudes trying to make it in this game, calm down on the bum hunting, this table started heads-up 1v1 against a fellow reg. Sometimes you gotta start a table to get them interested to play. The fish would rather join a table that's already running 3 handed rather than seat on a brand new table and as soon as he sits down 7 guys magically appear to play. He's not stupid, he knows what you're doing, doesn't seem like the best way to treat the guy who makes your salary but that's just my opinion.
Bored and was reading two plus two again and wanted to repost my black jack degen story. I got into poker like we all did, watching that fat clown moneymaker luck his way into $2 million on ESPN. Was never that good, would run up an initial deposit into thousands, move up stakes, move higher, then lose it all. I existed for awhile at 5/10 NL on FTP for a couple of years, but I remember taking a shot at 25/50 and losing to that drunk Layne Flack, or at least someone who was playing under this name. Looking back on it now, how those guys just stole from us, still bothers me to this day. And not one of them ever got arrested. I heard Ferguson even dared to show his face at the WSOP and not one person knocked his ass out. Anyway, I digress. The point is I was a break-even player at best. Understood the stats, could even read people, but had no interest in playing if the stakes didn’t scare me. And we all know what happens when you continuously play over your head or with scared money. Once Black Friday came, I got my occasional poker fix in AC. I started at the Trop, played a bunch at the Taj, but once I discovered Borgata I never went anywhere else. Over the years I had my mini degen moments, sitting at 5/10 NL with my last $800, spinning it up to $5k and then dumping at blackjack, etc. By 2014, I would only go to AC once in awhile and only blow a few thousand I could afford. Until early that summer I got dumped by a girl I assumed I would marry. She was beautiful, came from the same background as me and was wealthy. I just figured this was finally it. As my wife now tells me, I was a clueless dick to her and deserved to get dumped, but at the time I was shattered. If anyone has been in love and has been dumped, you know the empty sorrow, the soul crushing despair, the feeling like what is the freaking point of even living anymore. I took those feelings with me back to the Borgata. I would be itching all week till Friday, try to sneak out of work early, catch the greyhound and ride down to AC. Catch the shuttle or taxi to Borgata and start playing any game I could get into. This went on for some weeks. I was about break even, but break even to a degen is like losing to a normal person. I was getting ancy and poker was too slow a grind. So I remember taking some amount to the blackjack tables and losing it. I then remember thinking its only Friday night and I am not going back to my place and do nothing for the rest of the weekend. I decide to cash advance the max on my card. I think it was around $20k, or perhaps a little less after fees. You feel like such a degen when they fingerprint you on those advances. Anyways, I somehow blow $20k at blackjack in under an hour. I have no idea how someone can do that. I remember being a mixture of angry, sad and disgusted. I do not want to go home and I know have lost the most amount of money at one sitting as I ever had. I think at that point my biggest one night loss was when I had bet a 2 game parlay for $8k. So this was a huge loss figure for me. You know at the Borgata how there are the low limit blackjack tables in one area, and right behind there is this like raised dais of a room where the high limit tables are, and to the right of that is the “credit” office. Well I freaking walked in there and asked for a $20k marker. I was kind of hoping they would laugh at me and tell me to get lost. I have never been in there or knew how any of it worked. Sometimes I dream about that night and wish they had thrown me out or arrested me or just told me to eff off. Instead this manager guy asked me to log into my bank accounts. I showed him my checking account, my investment account and my 401k account. Logged into them with passwords right on this random computer like a total degen. I had around $40k in checking, $150k in investment account and even more in 401k, so this guy couldn’t green light the $20k fast enough. I took the cash and went right to the blackjack table in the high limit room next to the credit place, right in front. I remember changing the cash and getting started. My whole body was shaking, but when you are in degen mode you just don’t give a crap about the consequences. You just want to get even. I wish I could tell you some of the hands I got. I wish I remembered anything specific. What I do remember are snap shots. I remember at one point putting purple chips in three spots. I remember playing every base and splitting ten’s like a total psychopath. I remember going on the biggest heater of my life. I remember getting tapped on the shoulder by the pitboss. At that point I was kind of freaking out. They must assume I am cheating. They must think I am underage. I look to the pitboss and ask him what the problem is. He laughs and goes you know what the problem is sir. I say I have not done anything wrong search me. He looked at me quizzically for a second, I don’t know what he was thinking, but then he gestured to the dealer. He said dude, we are out of chips, we’ve called for a refill. I had literally won the vast majority of the chips from the dealer. I take this as a sign and cash the heck out. I insta pay back my marker, pay my credit card advance right away and go to my room. I had sat down with $20k, gotten to a low of like $10k and run it up to just over a $100k. I remember walking out of the high limit bj room so happy, but thinking very briefly I wonder if this is the worst thing to happen to me. The thing with betting big is that when you try to go back to your normal stakes, it feels like a giant waste of time. Like my old stakes were beneath me. I take my new massive roll and start sitting in games I had no business being in. I would play the large PLO games they had, I would play the highest limit poker game they had. I remember once night around the superbowl, the one where the pats beat the seahawks at the last minute, playing in a room next to the high limit poker room in the back of the Borgata poker room. It was like this room off to the side with a gate. I had never even noticed it before. I was playing in some massive PLO game and had no idea what I was doing. I remember playing with Shaun Deeb, who is really fat irl, and this kid called Paul Volpe. They kicked my ass so hard. I remember playing in 2/4 stud and the game revolved around this old angry guy named Norman. There was also a douchey pro named Mike I think in the game. He would take the most crap I have ever heard. Anyways, after floating around for a few months randomly jumping from plo to stud to high limit and no limit games, I discovered the 2/4 mixed game that ran Friday to Sunday. And I was totally hooked. The games were so crazy compared to the boring hold em I was used to. I learned about triple draw, badugi, badacey, super stud, ace-to-five, and other crazy games I don’t even remember. When I first joined those games, I think people assumed I was good. I was young looking and played such high stakes. But within a month they all realized I was a new fish. The funny thing is at those stakes they tell you right to your face. I was told several times, there is always a seat for me, I was in way over my head, I am bleeding money. Compared to other younger players I was a real pleasure to play with. Respectful, never threw a tantrum, no showboating. I think a couple of the pros even felt like they liked me. I remember one pro, Jordan, tried to teach me the games and how to improve, but I didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted to drink and splash around and be a freaking moron. I slowly blew through the epic black jack winnings and began taking out more $20k markers. I remember I had just gotten off the phone with the Borgata one night and my roommate walked into the living room and was like, dude did you just wire $20k to a casino? Wtf is wrong with you. I eventually started playing in underground games in the city. I blew about $40k in those games and looking back on it, I was clearly getting cheated. But even knowing that I still played lol. I also think I was the only degen mark they ever encountered that paid off his debts on time. They even asked me once to stop writing such large checks, could I please make it out in $5k increments lol. After blowing another $20k one weekend, I went back to my room and looked in the mirror. Disheveled, grumpy but most importantly just unhappy. The thrill of high stakes was gone. It was not a rush anymore. It felt like every week I would work and then go to AC to get kicked in the face. I lost so much cash in the 2/4 and 3/6 mixed games that I cannot blame it on run bad or variance. Someone has to be a real terrible player to lose that much in those games. Look I understand the pros probably cross booked each other, soft played and squeezed me – but I lost something like 25 straight sessions. When I finally walked away from the disaster, I had lost $100k in blackjack profit and another ~$325k of my own money playing the pit, high stakes mixed games and games in the city. The amazing thing is I was able just walk away. I have not been back to AC since the end of 2014 / early 2015. The money I lost was all the money I had saved since 2010, busting my ass as an analyst and associate. I am grateful I finally stopped before liquidating my retirement accounts, which I had been contemplating at one point. I remember wanting to kill myself during the degen run, but never really had the courage to do it. I wonder if the regs at the mixed games think I am dead in a ditch somewhere, blowing all that money so regularly every week and then never showing up ever again.
This post started out as a comment for this thread, but then it got long and I decided it warranted its own post. It's about what to do when people stare you down and say things like "I think you have AK." I love when people do this. The person is rarely if ever being honest, and most often looking for a reaction. Similar statements include "I'm thinking of calling," "I don't feel like you have anything here," or the classic "I don't know if I can fold this." There are basically three levels of livetell training one can have. Either untrained, classically trained, or scientifically trained. Untrained ranges from your online player who's mixing in live games to your rank novices and even includes some livegame veterans who actually ignore their opponents for some reason. These players will often have heard generalized advice about what to look for, but you can generally assume these players don't have any kind of system in place. If you don't have a system in place, then all you have is what's called a "calling reflex." Players want to call, because they want to win. They will look for something to convince them to call. Doing anything -- smiling, laughing, looking angry, fidgeting, receiving a phone call from your mother, they'll be looking for a way to interpret it as "that means he's weak." What to do if an untrained player says this: If an untrained player says "I'm thinking of calling" or something similar (it's usually more aggressive like "I think you just have ace high" or "I feel like you're bluffing here"), they're looking for a reaction. If you want a call, do something. Anything. Touch your face (except not now, because COVID). Shrug. Smile awkwardly. Check your cards again. Shift your weight in your seat. Make a jerk-off motion with your hand. Scream out loud and then try to hide under the table. Doesn't matter if it's weak or strong, but things actually work best if they look less deliberate. Any of these things, though, can trigger a calling reflex. If you want them to fold, don't change anything. Pretend you didn't hear them. Wait for the dealer to tell you that you've won. Classically trained means anyone who's read one of many hundreds of books on poker tells and/or has played a fair amount of live poker. You'll recognize experience and attention to poker tells by someone who's "standardized" their poker behavior. They often try to look at their cards the same way every time. They often try to use the same hand to act. If they use a card protector or a chip on their cards, they try to do so every single hand. Most poker pros have the same advice for how to avoid giving off tells, and players that follow this advice have usually heard advice on how to find tells, as well. The advice they've heard is almost always the same -- "Strong means weak. Weak means strong." Players like these are more likely to call you when you announce your bets and raises loudly, or throw your chips in. They're less likely to call a carefully-placed bet done silently. They think you'll stare at them when you're weak and look away when you're strong. They're looking for all these behaviors. However, when they say something to you in a big spot, they're usually not looking for any of these things. You have to know what they're looking for and what they're thinking before you can really know how to respond. Most modern tell books and even some old ones (like Mike Caro's book) recognize the difference between what's now called controlled and uncontrolled behavior. Controlled behavior is what you choose to do -- you choose to throw your chips in aggressively, to puff your chest out, etc. These are the behaviors that follow the "weak means strong and strong means weak" rule, and because they're controlled, they're the ones that classically trained players are least trusting of. They're the most common "tells", but also the least-reliable. Someone who's read the same book could easily be doing the opposite. So they look for the uncontrolled tells. The quick, automatic glance at your chips when you have a big hand. The way your hands shake a little when you hit a monster. The partially-concealed smile when they sound like they're going to fold. They've also read, or heard, that if they stare you down longer, they often will get a reaction after 20-30 seconds that they wouldn't if they acted faster. One of the most common questions they ask is "If I fold, will you show?" This has two objectives -- first, to see if you react positively to the concept of folding or are willing to offer something to get them to fold. Players with strong hands often immediately say "no." Second, because they want to see as many hands as possible to see if they're right. These players have a system and they'll follow it until you prove them wrong, so obviously never ever show them your hand unless you've reached showdown and have to. What to do if a classically trained player says this: If they say something implying you're weak? They're probably thinking of folding. They're looking for a positive knee-jerk reaction. They're ready to fold if you smile (especially if you try to stop or cover it), if you look at your chips, or if you somehow look more comfortable. Speaking back is a mixed bag. Saying anything makes you seem comfortable -- one of the most commonly-quoted rules is "speech means the nuts." Of course, because they said they're thinking of calling you, a lot of players will speak deliberately to change their mind, saying something like "Well if you think I'm weak, you should call," which some books will advise as weak. This is why controlled behavior is less-trustworthy, both for them to read and for you to use to get them to do what you want. You don't know what books they read or what they believe, so it's best to rely on convincingly dropping some "uncontrolled" behavior. (This is also why they're more likely to say something that sounds weak, like "If I fold, will you show?" Some books advise this to make players who speak in response more reliably strong, although almost all consider the offer to show cards to be weak.) So if a classically trained player says they think you're weak, they're looking for comfort. If you want them to call or raise, the best thing to do is to look like you're trying to seem comfortable, but aren't. If you catch yourself smiling reflexively, don't hide it -- force it bigger. Make it seem more fake. But generally, the best thing to do is to be as still as possible, hold your breath for a bit, then "break." Start breathing again, shift in your chair, make eye contact with them, force a smile... the big gun is to touch your cards. NOT to look at them, like there's anything worth looking at there. To simply touch them. When players are considering whether to call or fold a big bet, one of the things they often do before they fold is to touch their cards, and classically trained players know this. They'll often raise you with nothing if you do this. If you want them to fold, just be comfortable. If it helps, know that they're usually saying something to you -- anything, really -- because they're thinking of folding. You've already won, so relax. Don't hold your breath or try to hold still. Don't even worry too much about seeming nervous. The more you're willing to engage, the more afraid to call you your opponent will be. One thing that has literally never failed for me when getting one of these players to fold is to stare at them for a second and then say, in mock seriousness: "Now, I don't know everything, sure, but correct me if I'm wrong here, because I've heard it both ways... I believe that putting nipples on a butt does not make it boobs. What are your thoughts?" That won't work for everyone, but basically, classically-trained players are warned that such behavior doesn't come from players who are afraid of being called. Scientifically-trained players are few and far between. It's expensive and rarely cost-effective to learn how to actually find tells. The reality is, classical poker tells training is easier to learn, easier to implement (requires less concentration) and is usually effective enough to get by when combined with sound poker strategy. Actual scientific training can cost thousands, requires serious dedication and takes a lot longer. Rather than looking for general rules of thumb and common tells, scientific training involves watching an individual player, cataloging his behavior over time and in various situations, and then trying to come up with a strategy and implement it. A scientifically-trained player will say, "This player looks like he's got a fair amount of table experience and has somewhat standardized all his actions. He waits till his turn to act before checking his cards every time. He'll check his cards, usually looking at them for about 1 second, then plays with his chips with his right hand before placing a chip on his cards and finally calling or raising. Three times, he called or raised before putting a chip on his cards, then remembered to put one on after. All three times, he showed a premium hand of AK or better." These kinds of live tells can be incredibly powerful if properly exploited, but obviously, collecting that kind of information is time-consuming and requires a lot of focus. Generally, the advice for playing against these players is not to worry about them. First, you're so rarely going to encounter one, and they're not unlike card-counters in blackjack -- they may very well have a system in place, but that doesn't mean they know how to execute it. For every successful card-counting blackjack player, there are three or four who learned a little about it but aren't good enough to actually make money. If anyone's interested in how to get such training, they can PM me and I can give them some information, but keep in mind that it takes long hours of study AND a significant course fee, and for most people, I wouldn't recommend it. If you actually WERE sitting at a table with a strong player with good scientific training on how to spot tells, you still wouldn't have to worry too much. That kind of training means you can only really watch three or four players, so selecting profitable targets is the first step. When I sit down, I'm looking for someone who 1) gets into a lot of pots, so knowing whether they're strong is more worthwhile, 2) has somewhat standardized behavior and generally stays still, so things like breath rate and blink rate are easier to watch for, 3) always checks their cards at the same time -- preferably when its their first turn to act 4) looks like they have a reasonable understanding of poker (often, I'll reference a name like Phil Galfond or Fedor Holz and see if they recognize the name, as this is a good indicator of how intently they study the game). So for a lot of players, you won't be playing the playstyle that I'm looking for anyway. If you are, you can turn me off by checking your cards at a different time in the hand -- not as soon as you get the cards, but while it's someone else's turn to act, and my attention might be elsewhere. Also, the more mercurial you are in your actions, the more differences in behaviors I observe, the harder it is to watch you. Some behaviors mean something, and some mean nothing, so the more "noise" there is, the longer it'll take me to observe you. I prefer to play against casino regulars whom I can observe over long sessions (or, most ideally, several long sessions) and so can exploit productively long-term. If a scientifically-trained player says he thinks you just have ace-high, he's definitely fishing for a response, but most of the time, he's already made a decision. Usually in this spot you want to treat him like a classically-trained player, because he's either got you figured out or he doesn't. If he does, just don't try to bluff him so often. Introducing more noise once he knows what to look for is rarely effective. The main benefit behind scientific training is that it's pretty reliable once you know what you're looking for on a specific player, so if someone's genuinely got you figured out, it's probably not profitable to play against him. You can try to figure out what you're doing wrong and do it differently, but you'll usually just be guessing, and that's hit-or-miss. Mostly miss. But yeah, for every player who's actually able to find individual tells on you, there are literal thousands who can't and won't, so most of the time, when you hear probing speech play, it's an opportunity. The player's looking for something to influence his decision, and figuring out what he's looking for is key in getting him to do what you want.
Fans of Resident Evil were more than happy to see Capcom come out with another zombie title that replaces tight hallways and puzzles with open-world exploration and a level-up system. The creation of Dead Rising, back in 2006, was a breath of fresh air that was surprisingly supposed to be a sequel to Shadow of Rome, which is a random gladiator game that pretty much nobody played but was something far ahead of its time. Fast forward about 10 years and 3 games later, and Dead Rising is as dead as the zombies that plague its mall, casinos, city, and mall again. Granted, the games changed from a Japanese studio to a Canadian studio after the first one was a smash hit and it was very visible that the second game was already of a different quality. However, once it hit 3, there was such a huge difference in the way the game functioned and played out, people outright refused to bother playing it(it didn’t help that it was an Xbox exclusive until the poorly optimized PC port came out). When it comes down to the first installment being a goofy game that lets you dress as a little school girl and ride a tricycle while zombies are swatting at wasps and yellow raincoat cult members are blowing themselves up, it’s hard to imagine people complaining that the third and fourth game got too silly for their own good. What a lot of people don’t realize is how that is a legitimate concern from gamers, due to the situation that is what I like to call “invisible nuance”. This invisible nuance is where people are unable to understand how the games differ from 1 and 2 over to 3 and 4, and this is because 1 and 2 are satire, while 3 and 4 are parody. In fact, 4 is a parody of the entire series, making it a parody of a parody. With that slight nuance, the Canadian designers not only ruined the story for everyone, but they ruined any chance of a fifth game until Capcom gets so desperate they might as well summon up their own zombie horde to sit down and buy their games. I understand that not many people understand the difference between parody and satire, and I am certain the developers didn’t either when they adopted the IP from the Japanese studio. This is why I believe that the second game was accidentally good, even though they still fumbled on things like making Chuck a really iffy kind of melee fighter at full level and how the game was starting to become a little bit too cartoony for its own good. To put it simply, satire is when a work of art is making fun a genre or work by being part of it. Parody is when a work of art is taking a genre or another work of art and is using it to make jokes that are unrelated to what it’s basing itself on. Satire uses humor to show flaws in human behavior or culture, while parody uses an established work of art to make a joke. It’s very difficult to understand the difference, I know, but I think I’m able to make it simple to understand with a few examples. My favorite example is the difference between Scream and Scary Movie. Scream is satire, Scary Movie is a parody. Scream has a plot revolving around the tropes of slasher films, Scary Movie has a chick belittle her killer after she’s decapitated. Scream has the group follow clues from slasher movies to avoid being killed, Scary Movie has a dude cum so hard the girl on top of him is stuck to the ceiling. If that doesn’t make the difference clear to you, then, I’m sorry, I fear you have the case of the brain worms. The plot of Dead Rising is a satire of Resident Evil, mixed with a take on American consumerism. The entire reason the zombie outbreaks occur in the mall is because a terrorist group wanted to bring the problem a corporation invoked on their Latino town of Santa Cabeza, all because the company wanted to make more cows in order to feed Americans. It’s not that Americans are staring, but rather they are demanding, and the best place to see American demand back in 2006 was in a shopping mall on Black Friday. Shaun of the Dead did a similar satire moment where they showed shoppers at a store walking like zombies because that’s pretty much how they look, just switch the words “brains” with “bargains”. Surprisingly, the first game doesn’t have money as an issue, although it was great when the second game implemented it for its theme of corporate anti-culture and big pharma. So far, we have two games that follow their themes very well and are applying them as a satire. The mall setting is a satire set up for consumerism, while the casino and wrestling ring strip in the second game is a satire set up for anti-culture turning people into greedy slobs that just want to watch blood matches and gamble. Even the main characters of Frank and Chuck work well as themes, with Frank being a journalist(he’s covered wars, you know) and Chuck being a motocross champion turned gladiator. Both of these cause their outbreaks for different reasons and both of these have a beautiful grip on what makes the psychopaths “psychopaths”. Psychopaths are the result of someone going crazy due to the outbreak and because the designers needed a reason to have boss battles across the game’s 3-day span. Just having them there was satire since it’s kind of rare to see people going crazy in zombie movies (back then) and it was interesting to see how humans would turn on humans by having PTSD and a history of being oppressed or already psychotic. The idea of Frank covering wars and then coming home to deal with people having PTSD is a great theme, due to how war has to be glorified in the American news to keep the war effort going, and then the soldiers come home and reveal how terrible it actually was. The first game even has a moment where a psychopath named Cliff goes crazy in a home repair store and after you defeat him, he gives a dramatic monologue about how he snapped the second he saw his granddaughter get eaten by zombies. It’s a heart-wrenching moment that is perfectly finished by Frank closing Cliff’s eyes with a hand and letting out a defeated sigh. Much like how it is in war, not every battle won is a victory. Then there are Psychopaths like Adam the clown who are memorable for the wonderful performance by the voice actor and how intense the battle is. But no matter what Psychopath we deal with, they all follow a theme and an archetype. Adam is the Caino archetype clown, one who is miserable but desires others to laugh and enjoy themselves. This gets twisted into him tying people onto a thrill ride and juggling chainsaws for the sake of “amusement”. The grocery clerk, Steven Chapman, is the archetype of the perfect retail employee. His archetype is twisted into someone who shrieks at the top of his lungs for people to get out of his store and he sets up a shopping cart with pitchforks and blades on it. There’s even a cult leader in a movie theater to make reference to the “cult of personality” where people go to watch and indulge in pointless films to simply argue and create teams against each other about “what media is better than another” with none of them realizing that they are just blindly following propaganda that makes them feel good or powerful. There’s a reason for these psychopaths to be there. They follow themes, they are archetypes, their actions relate to their themes, and even their settings fit their themes to create this deep experience that sticks with you, all while poking fun at the subject of consumerism. That is why people enjoy satire. The events are making fun of the major themes and subjects, all while being a part of those themes and subjects. The survivors are the same way, where you’re trying to save their lives and yet some of them worry more about food, when they are already fat, or they are found doing something they enjoyed in their normal life as if the zombie apocalypse is the perfect excuse to rush to escapism. In the second game, they do the same thing with corporations and big pharma, and they use satire in a similar way but didn’t really tie their themes to either one. Instead, they tied their themes to job titles and employment. Ted Smith, the tiger tamer who looks like if Bobby Hill had a baby with a potato and fed it paint chips, becomes a Psychopath to treat the tiger he grew attached to. Antoine Thomas, the chef that is a bitch to kill, goes crazy trying to create the perfect dish with human flesh. Or is it zombie flesh? Either way, once you meet the mailman with a shotgun who goes postal(yes, I went there, because the game went there), it’s easy to see that they are simply going crazy the same way the grocery clerk of the previous game went crazy. They had a job, they became that job, and they will die as that job. It’s kind of a way to talk about corporatism, but it’s also kind of not. This is why I think DR2 was starting to get messy with its themes and satire, because even though they were using satire to make fun of people who take their jobs too seriously, it’s not really part of the main theme, so it’s understandable why the Psychopaths are not as memorable. Strangely enough, the ones that are memorable are the ones who do fit the corporation theme, like the CURE terrorist who fights you with broken glass, and TK who serves as the main antagonist. Zombrex, the entire reason the game happens, due to big pharma needing zombies to create queens, which allows them to make more zombrex, is the biggest aid in the main theme. Even if you kill TK, the outbreaks will continue, because they would need more zombrex, which requires more zombies, which then makes more people need more zombrex. I swear that theme was far too genius for its own good. Sadly, the only part of the gameplay that relates to it is going over to a pawn shop that is owned by a faceless entity to buy weapons and zombrex, and that’s about it. I guess you can count the “spend money to make money” mentality with gambling because the entire business practice is a gamble, but I’m not really sure if that’s intentional or if I’m just fishing for anything relevant. To wrap up the satire segment, it’s kind of clear that the main idea behind the first 2 games, when it came to satire, was how the themes matched the events and the actions, as well as the humor. Anything goofy going on gameplay-wise is not part of the “world” that the story is setting up. You don’t craft weapons during a cutscene and it’s not like the game forces you to dress up like Megaman for a mission. Granted, there is the ability to be kidnapped by cultists in the first game and you wake up in a box in your underwear, but that’s still part of the gameplay, where it belongs. Now… let’s talk about parody, and boy is this going to be a rant. The third game is where everything goes downhill, story-wise. The idea of big pharma is gone, the idea of American consumerism is there accidentally, and the designers wanted to put a big emphasis on how combo weapons exist. You play as Nick Ramos, who is a mechanic and… that’s his entire character. While Frank was a big mouth pacifist who seeks the truth and Chuck was a hard-ass who wants safety for future generations, Nick is a clean slate who likes to scramble on the floor and awkwardly ask people why they’re killing people. Nick is no longer a character, but rather, a walking joke. He’s nothing more than the voice of the director telling the audience what they should be thinking in order for their awkward scenes to work. His over the top expressions, as if he’s auditioning to play the dad from Son of the Mask, are what the director wants the player to do when a fat lady stabs a man with an oversized fork or when a MILF cop puts his hand on her fake tit. The idea isn’t that he’s a satire of the typical zombie hero, but rather a slapstick parody of what the player does during gameplay. It’s hard to imagine Nick being shocked at a few dead bodies, then quickly fly into action with a boxing glove that has an acetylene tank taped onto it. The amount of difference between cutscenes and gameplay is so extreme, we’re more inclined to skip Psychopath introductions because Nick doesn’t act like the character we’ve been playing as, but rather acts like a helpless survivor that wandered away from the safe house. And before I go off on how the Psychopaths are like in the third game, I have to say that the idea of using the seven deadly sins was an okay idea. It’s not bad. I like themes that represent something. But what the hell does the seven deadly sins have to do with the theme of the story? I have to get into the main theme before I talk about the Psychopaths. While DR1 was about consumerism, and DR2 was about corporatism, DR3 flew way off-topic and decided to make a game about zombies discuss privacy and citizen rights. Yeah… I’m not a genius when it comes down to zombie tropes, but what exactly does a Hispanic dude helping out a group who call themselves The Illegals have to do with the plot of a zombie outbreak? If anything, the plot is saying “these illegals are a risk because there are people who create outbreaks if they are not tracked” and then the gameplay says “you must save these people who risk more outbreaks because they want to do things their own way” with then the plot later going “hey, remember those illegals, you have to help them because this one chick is an illegal and she’s important for no real reason.” Seriously, Annie, the major subplot out of like 5 different unrelated subplots, is Nick’s main objective in the beginning for no real reason. It’s never shown that they are dating, it’s never said she’s important to him, and it’s never said what Nick’s reason is other than “I have to find her”. This can only be concluded as a parody of how games give you missions for no reason. “Bring me 10 goat foreskins”. Why? I don’t know, but I’ll reward you with exp and gold. These main characters have nothing to them except for Gary, who is a mobster who used to be a wrestler, which touches a fall from grace personality that makes him cocky in his ability but humble in his situation. Everyone else is no longer an archetype or even remotely relatable to a character we can point to any zombie media. Annie is a babydoll goth only by appearance, Rhonda is a pinup punk, Red is a beatnik. These aren’t personalities, they are costumes that follow a stereotype, and they didn’t even bother to include the stereotype. Instead, we get these empty husks that are ready to tell jokes instead of supporting the reason why they are there, to begin with. Okay, I’ve delayed it long enough… It's time to talk about the Psychopaths. We get seven major Psychopaths that fill out the seven sins: Lust is an S&M performer who you find in a porn shop, gluttony is a fat lady on a scooter you find in a buffet, greed is a surgeon who is collecting organs, sloth is a champagne socialist you find in his mansion, wrath is a zen monk in his garden, envy is a nerd on a yacht who tries to be like Nick, and pride is a female bodybuilder you find in a gym. At first, from that alone, you can go “oh, that sounds good. The themes are in order, they don’t have much wrong with them, and they don’t conflict with their symbolism.” That is because, on paper, they are almost flawless. But once executed and given dialogue, they are no longer satire. They become parodies of sins. The only ones that stay in their lane are the surgeon and the S&M gimp, and that’s because their personalities and roles are easy to make rather threatening and psychopathic. The rest of them become these over the top cartoon representations that fart a lot and make jokes like they’re Jim Carrey during the dream scene in Dumb and Dumber. I swear, I’m not joking, two of them, sloth and gluttony, shit themselves when they die. Wrath, an old monk who’s gone mad and says “pretentious big brain Buddhist riddles” has his last word be “Seriously?!” after reminiscing about having a family. There’s nothing really about them that makes them sinners, other than how they set up jokes. Pride gets called “sir” by Nick, and it’s funny because she’s just a really buff chick with short hair, and Nick is supposed to be the player and Nick is a misgendering idiot. The rest of the Psychopaths, who are part of the main story, have very little to do with anything. To put it plainly, the theme we’ve established with the concept of illegals and citizen rights and privacy, the only thing the main story Psychopaths relate to is that some of them are police officers and military officials. This is just a parody of the previous games, where they had two DHS agents try to find out what’s going on with you, and now the government is your biggest enemy because there is The Illegals organization and they are important and stuff. I don’t think I have to get into the subject of the illegal crisis the US has had since before Dead Rising was a thing, but, just so we’re clear, the bitten illegals are a parody of the immigration illegals. They create an organization, they claim they just want to be safe and do things on their own, they want to stay off the grid, and then they have people like Red who go out of their way to destroy government property and we have people like Annie who has a father (Chuck Greene) who’s in charge of a mafia. I don’t know about you, but this sounds like a Spanish soap opera more than it sounds like a zombie game. Nothing about them is saying why they are illegal, or what the illegal status means to an outsider, or what the illegal status means to an insider. They say they are free and then they are held up in a shelter surrounded by zombies and they need Nick to save them. Speaking of Nick, let’s talk about his tattoo. Later on in the game, it’s revealed that Nick is part of an experiment where they had a bunch of children, who are immune to the virus but also carry it, go out into different places. The reason is kind of so that they can infect places, which is seen in an awful cutscene that is literally a museum of exposition, and it’s hinted that Nick or his friend Diego might have been the reason people were infected in their area, but it’s never really said. Instead, they drop that plot point and talk about how Nick is the cure. So, the entire time we’re playing as Nick, we are shown that he’s useless in human interactions and is a weakling, but then now he’s the cure and the savior of the human race, as long as he can be taken away and studied. This is a parody of exactly what Frank West’s character went through in the first game, which was a hero’s journey. You see, a hero’s journey, when applied with the Jungian form that Frank West had, is done right, you get a story that flows well and makes sense. Frank had the call of adventure towards the mall, he’s helped by the DHS agents, he gets mentors and helpers along the way, then he’s thrown into the abyss of the conspiracy, he changes from a journalist to a warrior of truth, he finds out he’s bitten and will soon turn, then he is granted the reward of finding a temporary cure with Isabella’s help. Near the end, he also encounters his shadow, who is a military commander. Frank is out to reveal the truth, while the military commander is out to conceal the truth. The battle challenges Frank’s beliefs of whether or not hiding such a big scoop is the right thing to do. Nick’s journey is a parody of this, minus the shadow. He starts off as useless, never really works for anything to happen, the entire story exists without him needing to be there, then near the end, they say “by the way, you’re important”, all for the story to say Nick is still not really that important and reveal that Isabella caused the outbreak so that Nick can reveal himself as someone who’s immune. This isn’t a hero’s journey. It’s not even a journey. It’s a series of unfortunate events that reward Nick for absolutely no reason. He has to survive because he’s special, but he didn’t do anything to be special, other than magically be good at combining things, which… is something everyone else can do in this world. The best way I can say his character fits the theme is by saying “the cure to a bad situation is to have someone who can fix stuff”. Doesn’t that sound absolutely engaging? Now, what about the fourth game? Is there anything else I really have to add to hammer in the idea that these two failures were accidental parodies? I guess I can say that the fourth game goes over consumerism, again, but leaves it at “hey, Christmas is a thing, right?” Nothing in the story really deals with the theme of consumerism because that game has the theme of freaking transhumanism. The main villain is a dude who’s a conscious zombie with robot armor and Frank West turns into a zombie, only to be turned back into a human. Frank turns into a rotting corpse… then he turns back into a fully functional human. Trust me, that’s a parody. That’s just a joke with nothing funny attached to it, much like most of Frank’s dialogue in the fourth game. All he does is wisecracks and Uncharted-esque zingers. His personality is to wait for someone to give him material to make fun of and to have pointless arguments with Asian women. Even when I say the theme is about transhumanism, it really does just end at that. There are no more Psychopaths, they replaced them with maniacs. The maniacs are a parody of Psychopaths. Characters like the Sadistic Claus and Captain Black Fridaybeard have nothing to do with the theme and they have nothing to do with reality. They are just there, wielding electric axes and ice swords because that’s how the designers wanted to reward the player for defeating an opponent that is easier than finding something to be disappointed within the game. Archetypes are more than just catchphrases, vernacular, and stereotypes. They have an actual purpose and theme that is carried out by their actions and desires because the most important part of an archetype is their specific desire. When all the maniac simply desires is “kill everything” then they’re no different from a wandering zombie. They are reduced to a parody of what the psychopaths were. The story was reduced to a parody of the first game, with the theme even being parodied as “with consumerism, we can achieve transhumanism” as part of the plot. It’s basically saying, “you eat a lot and we end up with robo-zombies that talk.” Frank himself was reduced to a parody of Frank, with his charismatic journalistic archetype being replaced by Carrot Top and his bag o’ funny props. At no point am I saying that parody is bad. To be honest, I love parody movies like Scary Movie, especially Scary Movie 2. However, when we want to make a game fun, and when it’s a game like Dead Rising, the jokes of said parody should make us actually laugh. It should try to make us amused, and that’s hard to do with a setting that’s also trying to take itself seriously at times. It’s like trying to enjoy a parody episode of Simpson’s Treehouse of Horrors and the entire time they play it off like it’s supposed to be serious. That serious tone is great for satire, but it’s just too out of place for parody. Parody can exist within satire, but satire cannot exist within a parody. Satire relies on the themes of the subject to make the humor have its punch, while parody is simply a joke that uses a theme and subject as a platform to talk about something unrelated. I believe the designers who messed up on that little bit of nuance had the right intentions but didn’t have the right direction. If anything, nobody told them the first game was satire and the second game was kind of trying to copy the first game in approach and they lucked out by great observation. But the second they decided to try something else, they had no idea what the original plan was and went off into their presumed direction, parody. It’s amazing how such a small mistake can cause such big problems, but let that be a lesson to you. The slightest misunderstanding you have of the art you try to mimic can cause the biggest differences in how people compare yours with the original source. There are things that stick with people and there are things that fall flat. The more you understand the established concepts that people enjoy, the better you’ll be able to please your audience and returning fans. If you don’t understand how the art was well received, and you go by “top trends of the previous year”, you’re going to make another Dead Rising 4.
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Slotastic poses as a great online gambling destination for bonus seekers who insist on having a wide choice of limited-time and ongoing promotions. These include free spins on exclusive slots, instant cashbacks, bonus matches on deposits, and a great loyalty scheme. New customers can make a pick from three different welcome bonuses. The first offer is geared toward the preferences of slot buffs. It consists of 117 free spins on RealTime Gaming’s classic Bubble Bubble. This bonus is awarded for deposits of at least $25 with the promo code BUBBLETASTIC. It appealed to us because there are no restrictions on the maximum winnings you can cash out. However, you need to wager the winnings amount at least 10x before you ask for a withdrawal. You can use this bonus code a single time only. The second option newcomers at Slotastic have is a 150% welcome bonus of up to $300, granted on their first deposits of $25 or more with the promo code WINTASTIC. The bonus is valid on first deposits only and is intended for free play on the available slots and keno games. It has wagering requirements of 30x the bonus and deposit amounts. There is no maximum cashout limit on the winnings you can withdraw. Only the slots, the scratchcards, and the keno games contribute toward the playthrough, but you cannot use the bonus credits to participate in the slot tournaments for free. The value of each free spin is limited to $0.01 per active line. Bubble Bubble is a 50-line slot, which is to say your bets should not exceed $0.50 per spin. All bingo and table games like craps, baccarat, casino poker varieties, roulette, and blackjack are excluded. If you play them, the casino will terminate your bonus. The same goes for the video poker varieties which are also blocked from bonus participation. Maximum wagers with an active bonus in your account should not exceed $9.99 or else the winnings will be voided. The third welcome option is geared toward the needs of new players who are looking to make their first deposits with the Bitcoin cryptocurrency. They can receive a 250% up to $1,000 in free credits in exchange for a minimum deposit of $25 via Bitcoin. The code for this one is BTC250. The terms coincide with those for the other deposit-match offer, i.e. the bonus is subject to wagering of 30x its amount plus the deposited sum. Only slots, scratchcards, and keno have a contribution (of 100%) toward the playthrough. There is a maximum bet restriction of $9.99. Players from the following locations are not entitled to welcome bonuses – Sweden, Bulgaria, Belarus, Indonesia, Greece, Portugal, Romania, Poland, Russia, and Mauritius. If these perks fail to satiate your appetites for free reel spinning, you can redeem more free spins for the slot Hen House on a daily basis, i.e. once you have finished wagering your welcome bonuses. Players get 10 free spins for a deposit of $10, 20 free spins for deposits of $20, or the maximum of 50 bonus spins for deposits of $50 or more. You must use the SPINTASTIC promo code in the cashier. Wagering of 30x the winnings is applicable, with max bet restrictions of $0.02 per active payline. The casino’s terms state no maximum cashout applies to this offer. In addition to these gifts, Slotastic treats reel spinners to a great range of limited-time deposit bonuses, cashbacks, and free spins. As a matter of fact, there are so many offers, it would be next to impossible to cover them all here. It is best for interested players to regularly visit the casino’s cashier where you can see all the bonus coupons that are currently available. There is also a three-tiered loyalty program you automatically become a part of upon registration. The casino rewards customers with 1 comp point for every $10 they bet on the website. The points can be converted into free credits at a rate of 100 points for $1. Respectively, you need to generate at least 100 points before conversion is possible. >>Get Exclusive Free Bonuses Here<<
Slotastic Software Providers
If there is one thing most US-friendly online casinos have in common, it must be the software they run on. Slotastic utilizes the software platform of a single supplier, the well-known RealTime Gaming. This is a company with over 20 years of experience in the field of casino solutions development. The casino boasts a well-designed website that enables you to browse the different gaming categories and locate all the important information with ease. The lobby pretty much has the standard RealTime Gaming interface. After you log in, you get to see the categories of Slots, Table Games, Video Poker, Specialties, Progressives, and Favorites. The current value of the progressive prizes is displayed in the jackpot meter under the main menu. You can access the cashier with a single click of a button and get to see your available balance at all times. Several useful buttons take you to the live chat facility, the promotions page, and your notifications. Slotastic gives its players a choice from several options. Customers who intend to play on Microsoft Windows-based desktop computers can download and install the casino’s software, which, unfortunately, is not compatible with any other operating systems. Mac users can load the lobby and the games straight in their desktop browsers. The casino works just fine in the browsers of smartphones and tablets running on Android and iOS. You can access it in any browser, be it Firefox, Opera, Chrome, Internet Explorer or Safari as long as it is up to date and your wireless connection is reliable enough. Slotastic has also released a dedicated application for Android. You can download it from the casino’s website for free.
Slotastic Banking
Banking is one of the aspects where Slotastic Casino definitely bears improvement. We would like to see more deposit and withdrawal options added in the future as befits an operator that supports play from most countries worldwide. For the time being, Slotastic customers can make deposits with commonly available payment solutions such as credit cards by Mastercard, American Express and Visa, e-wallets by Skrill, ecoPayz, and Neteller, the prepaid Paysafecard, Neosurf, and the cryptocurrencies Bitcoin and Litecoin. EasyEFT is also available but can be used by players from South Africa only. Another option is to call customer support on the number we have provided in the table above. The support agents will help you deposit over the phone. No additional costs are associated with the deposits. The minimum and maximum limits depend on the deposit method you use. You can top up your account with $25 to $500 with the credit cards or deposit anywhere between $5 and $2,000 with e-wallets like ecoPayz. Deposits with Paysafecard can range between $5 and $300 while those made with the Neosurf vouchers have limits of $10 and $250. Cryptocurrency depositors must comply with limits of $25 and $2,500. There are but a few options where withdrawals are concerned. Players can cash out the wins from their Slotastic accounts with Bitcoin, MoneyGram, ecoPayz, Skrill, Neteller, checks or wire transfers. The minimum limits on withdrawals are $25 for ecoPayz, $180 for courier checks, and $100 for the other supported solutions. The maximum is $2,500 per method ($3,000 for checks) and $10,000 per week. You have the option to reverse your withdrawals while the requests are still pending. We personally think this works to the disadvantage of some players. People sometimes get tempted to continue gambling until they give whatever they have won back, so manual flushing is always the more preferable option in our opinion. So what are the processing times for withdrawals from Slotastic? It all depends on what method you use. The quickest way to cash out would be to use the supported e-wallets or Bitcoin where withdrawals take place instantly after approval. Withdrawals with courier checks and wire transfers may take up to 10 business days. Unfortunately, there is no good news to report where transaction costs are concerned. If you are looking to avoid extra charges, you should withdraw with the cryptocurrency or the e-wallets. The fees associated with the other available withdrawal methods are eye-watering. You have to pay $30 extra per courier check and $60 extra per wire transfer. You might also end up paying additionally for currency conversion since Slotastic works with USD only. >>Get Exclusive Free Bonuses Here<<
Slotastic Mobile Casino
Slotastic provides mobile players with two options. There is a highly functional in-browser application that requires no additional software installation. This enables you to play without wasting any storage space on your smartphone. You simply have to type in the casino’s address in your browser or scan the QR code posted on the website. Android users can download a native app to install on their devices. We regret to say there is not much versatility for mobile players at Slotastic, though. The in-browser app is home to 100 or so mobile games, most of which are slots. There are around 15 video poker variations including Deuces Wild, RealTime Gaming’s trademark Loose Deuces, and Jacks or Better. The mobile casino is short of table games, but you still get to play European Roulette, Suit ‘Em Up Blackjack, Classic Blackjack, and Tri Card Poker. Some of the most popular RealTime Gaming jackpot games have also been optimized for play on the go. The biggest pots drop in the progressive Aztec’s Millions. You can add games to your list of favorites by tapping the star icons next to the thumbnails. Tapping the info button shows you all you need to know about the games you are interested in, from their volatility level to their themes and special features. Slotastic’s in-browser app compensates with a simplified, yet elegant and user-friendly design. The circular mobile lobby features oversized round buttons that take you to the different categories of games, the cashier, your favorites, the games you have last played, and the main menu, where you can view your bonus coupons, comp points, promotional messages, and the contact page. The support chat is accessible at all times via a large-size button that remains glued to the lower right corner of your touchscreen regardless of which page you open. Similarly to the desktop version, the mobile casino can be loaded in English only.
Slotastic Casino Games
Slotastic is a relatively small online casino with a gaming library that comprises around 300 distinct games. Note that the full suite is available via the Windows-compatible download software only. Those who access the casino and play in their browsers are facing half the number of options, with a little over 150 titles. This limited choice makes sense considering the casino uses software by a single supplier only. There is the standard set of RealTime Gaming titles you can play. Slots make for the largest portion of the portfolio although video poker, keno, scratchcards, and tables games are also available. But enough beating around the bush – let’s examine the gaming library in more detail.
Slots
This casino is called Slotastic for a good reason. It features a solid collection of RealTime Gaming slots with versatile themes, ranging from ancient civilizations and mythology to magical creatures and Vegas lifestyle. Branded slots like Ritchie Valens La Bamba, The Big Bopper, and The Three Stooges are also included. Slotastic organizes its slot collection on the basis of reel number, features, and jackpot. The 6-reel titles are a must-try including games like Super 6 and Lucky 6. Some of the slots from RealTime Gaming’s Real Series have randomly triggered local jackpots that can drop on any spin regardless of the amount staked. Some of the most appealing slots from this category include Aladdin’s Wishes, Achilles, Ancient Gods, Cleopatra’s Gold, Fire Dragon, Naughty or Nice, and Ghost Ship. Hairway to Heaven, Naughty or Nice Spring Break, and Polar Explorer have the so-called “Feature Guarantee”. This ensures players will trigger a bonus feature within a designated number of spins. One example is the slot Aztec’s Treasure where the feature meter is set at 150 spins. Players who choose this slot can have the confidence they will trigger a bonus feature at least once every 150 rounds. The Win-Win feature some slots are equipped with is equally rewarding but in a different way. It gets activated at the end of a round of free spins if you have generated profits smaller than 8x your triggering bet. You need to play all paylines to benefit from the Win-Win feature, though. Some of the Win-Win slots include Loch Ness Loot, The Three Stooges, and Triple Twister. Slotastic caters to fans of classic slots with several 3-reel titles like Double Ya Luck, Sevens and Stripes, Scuba Fishing, Santastic, and Jumping Beans. Other slot titles that appealed to us include Cai Hong, Bubble Bubble and its sequel, Enchanted Garden II, Eternal Love, Gods of Nature, and I, Zombie.
Table Games
Slotastic is home to a standard suite of table games that features around 18 variants of roulette, blackjack, and casino poker. Baccarat and craps are also available. Fans of the Devil’s wheel have a choice from American and European Roulette where the bets range between $1 and $50. Blackjack buffs enjoy a greater versatility, having a choice from the standard version of the game, Perfect Pairs, European Blackjack (this is a no-hole-card game), Face Up 21 (RealTime Gaming’s take on Double Exposure), Pontoon, Super 21, Suit ‘Em Up Blackjack, and Match Play 21. Several variations of casino poker are also available. You can play against the virtual dealers in a game of Vegas Three Card Rummy, Tri Card Poker, Pai Gow Poker, Caribbean Hold’em (which is pretty much the casino version of Texas Hold’em but with an exotic name), and Caribbean Stud. The baccarat and craps games can be found in the Specialties section.
Progressive Jackpot Games
We counted roughly 75 games with local progressive jackpots. This means the prizes are pooled from bets made on the Slotastic platform only. Respectively, you cannot expect gargantuan pots from these games – their prizes typically escalate to four-figure amounts only. Some of the most popular slots with local pots include Small Fortune, Jumping Beans, Rudolph’s Revenge, Samba Sunset, Secret Symbol, Penguin Power, Paydirt, Mermaid Queen, and Mister Money. You have a more limited choice if massive pots are what you are after. The casino features several slots linked to a wide-area progressive network, with prizes accumulating across all RealTime Gaming-powered websites. The pots in Aztec’s Millions and Megasaur are symbol-driven whereas the prize in Spirit of the Inca drops whenever it reaches its boiling point. The jackpot of Aztec’s Millions is way overdue since it has not dropped since 2009. The table games Caribbean Stud and Caribbean Hold’em are also linked to progressive networks.
Video Poker
Fans of video poker are catered to with 14 distinct variations of their favorite game including Loose Deuces, Aces & Eights, All American Poker, Bonus Deuces Wild, Bonus Poker, Bonus Poker Deluxe, Deuces Wild, Double Bonus Poker, Double Jackpot Poker, Jacks or Better, Joker Poker, and Sevens Wild. Each of the above-listed games is available in the multiple-hand format, with players having a choice from 1, 3, 10, or 52 hands at a time. Just keep in mind each hand you play requires an individual bet. For example, if you are playing five credits of $0.50 per hand in the 52-hand variant of Jacks or Better, you are practically wagering $130 per round. >>Get Exclusive Free Bonuses Here<<
Slotastic Licensing and Regulations
Slotastic has not published any information in regard to licensing, ownership, and regulations on its official website, which only works to its detriment. In our opinion, it is common courtesy to inform one’s customers who they are gambling with and under what license. There are no details on who audits the games for fairness and what their theoretical return is. We hope to see higher levels of transparency from Slotastic in the future. After a little digging on the web, it was established Slotastic allegedly operates under the licensing and regulations of the British Virgin Islands. Customers’ funds and personal information are protected with SSL encryptions. Slotastic also embraces responsible gambling. Players can self-exclude, take a temporary break from gambling, or set limits on their deposits. The casino does not allow for real-money play from the UK and New Jersey.
Slotastic Customer Support
Slotastic players who need help are facing several avenues of communication with the casino’s support staff. The easiest and quickest way to contact them is via the live chat. The chat facility is staffed at all times of day and night, which is certainly beneficial for the casino’s vast multi-national player base. The downside is that when all human agents are busy servicing other customers, you may end up chatting with the “friendly” Chat Bot. The latter is pretty much useless since it provides you with a link to the FAQ section most of the times. You are automatically connected with a real human being as soon as an agent is available, though. The support staff makes an overall good impression with their professionalism and friendliness. You can also drop Slotastic’s support a few lines via email at [email protected]. Support is provided over the telephone as well. The number you need to dial is +1 866 890 6738.
Conclusion
Slotastic has both its downsides and advantages. The biggest positive here is that the casino welcomes play from a huge number of jurisdictions including the United States. Another benefit is that the website is jam-packed with bonuses and promotional incentives. If you are looking for generous offers, this is the place to drop by. We also liked the website’s design. All categories are easy to spot and the games load quickly both on desktop and mobile. The biggest con here is the absence of regulatory information. As we said earlier, we hope to see this fixed in the future in the interest of transparency. It would have been great if the casino supported more payment options as well. The gaming library itself is definitely not the most diverse one, with only 150 games in the casino’s flash version. Despite its downsides, Slotastic will appeal to RealTime Gaming fans from the US who insist on fast withdrawals and lots of bonuses. >>Get Exclusive Free Bonuses Here<<
Augmented Alt Character Farming for Independence Day as Summoner
Credit to Maple_'s original post on the profitability of Independence Day farming with alt characters but I believe that you can augment the original process to keep weeklies and summoner loot in mind. The reason why summoner mains would want to spend some more time per burner alt is because of one French bitch named Pietro being the sole source of repeatable support rolls, but only when you reach MAXIMUM friendship with him once per character. Finally, this guide also accounts for the fact that Weekly ARKS quests give a massive bonus to level 50 characters and will provide additional steps for your alt farming to account for weekly missions. By farming alts, you can stand to gain the following every day
~70 Photon spheres
50 MEL, TEC, RNG, and DEX mag food devices
~2 million meseta, double that if doing weeklies on that alt too
1 support roll
35-45 or more glory badges
1 Salon Pass
1 Augmentation +40%
~10 EX-cubes
3-4 lambda grinders
10 or 20 of A-C capsules
And some more bonus goods I may be forgetting
Step 0 It pays to prepare
Remember that this method is ONLY available if you only have 2 or less occupied character slots, you can buy additional characters with AC but those additional characters do not represent additional slots!
On 1 or 2 days before the weekly reset, keep in mind that this character will be here to stay until said reset occurs so that you can cash in your extra 2 million meseta
It will pay off to prepare 2 pieces of junk armor level 1 characters can equip in your storage (you get the third piece, sub: weapon barrier as a very early quest reward and can eventually just store 3 weapon subs for future characters)
Progress story mode to at least the end if Ep 3 Chapter 1. This should give your alts enough XP to reach 20 without even leaving the lobby
Already be on top of Yerkes material farming. With daily alts, Yerkes' quests become daily too instead of weekly
Store all other characters' harvesting/fishing supplies, fresh level 1 characters are the most efficient harvesters
MINOR buy some Alba knuckles for storage too
If you have a player shop from premium or fun scratch tickets, it really helps but is totally optional. If you do alt farming long enough, you will have more food devices than actual mag levels you can upgrade (it takes 550 to level a mag from 1) and your extra spheres can be converted into more food devices too, which make major bank in personal shops
VERY OPTIONAL: harvest a million forest tomatoes; it's more convenient to just buy tomato salad
You can also have some ruins sashimi prepared to further augment your burners' harvest ability
EDIT: Buy a tomato salad and craft/buy an Enemy Slayer ring +1 (it has to be +1 exactly) at some point and have them in storage
Step 1: Talk to NPCs and get ARKS rewards
Spam enter to get the talk to Afin quest, then do all of Afin's quests. This is why we have junk armor prepared, so we can do Absolute Unit right from level 1, since its arks quest blocks progression to almost every other arks quest reward
Talk to Cofy and finish all 4 of her quests, then talk to Echo as well
After completing all of Afin's, Cofy's, and Echo's orders, there should not be any more blockage on ARKS quests, spam enter on your ARKS rewards and reach level 20
Talk to Pietro and take his first order, talk to Hans and take his orders to kill 60 volcano dragons and the volcano boss
Step 2 Preparing for subclassing
Talk to Cofy again and she should have 3 new orders, accept all of them and finish auxiliary and subpallete quickly
Don't forget to spend your class skills, use the standard SuFi build
Do an actual quest and go to Time Attack Naverius and fight until you kill the preprogrammed gorango that appears in the first area, then abandoned the quest
Go to Pietro and get his new client orders quest line, including most importantly the quest to get his partner card
Take a drink from the med bay and enjoy your free grinders from your daily ARKS mission, they will be important later
Your second quest is volcano easy mode, this time you fight till completion, bring some FUN point bots too. In volcanoes, you are looking for a fodran (they almost exclusively are in area 2) and your first quest from the Independence Day boss killing quest line
In quests, I always pick up eggs and ??? eggs (I'm also picking up 7*+ weapons now for nemesis grinding) but in early quests, you also want to pick up every weapon you see. If this is a weekly run, hatch violet and synchro for yourself to save some meseta, otherwise send all the eggs to your main
Go to Cofy and take your subclass, it's going to be fighter, the standard SuFi build is fine even though we use fighter main class too in this guide because the only thing our fighter will kill is level 1 zaudans anyways.
Step 3: The Cafe saga: we go to the cafe first to get a major funds injection and to give your harvest/fish meters time to top off, as well as to unlock the Urgent Quest arks mission earlier
Skip the cutscene, and take 1 random franca procurement quest, doesn't matter which one, it will be important for later
Take purple girl's harvesting quest. Then go to some random planet and harvest and fish once, then abandon that planet to go back to the cafe and continue purple girl's quest chain
Her next quest is making a Boosted Enemy Slayer ring, specifically the only ring that costs only 3K and 3 naverius rocks (she also gave you 3 rocks exactly, hmmmm), finish the quest buy either making the ring or retrieving an old BER+1 ring from storage and take her cooking quest next
Now, having hundreds of tomatoes on hand isn't likely so we take a detour and go to Yerkes for his quests and much needed funds
Take from storage: yerkes items, 15 meat and 3 potatoes (double meat and potatoes if it's a weekly run character), xp boosters, pickaxes, fishing rods, stamina drinks, alba knuckles if present, 10 tomatoes/1 tomato salad if present, BES Ring +1 if present, ruins sashimi if you have any
Turn in Yerkes quest, THIS is how alts can cheese a good portion of their income since the alt deletion request timer is daily vs Yerkes' weekly timer, we should have zero funding trouble now for our character's mayfly lifespan
In the personal shop, buy: tomato salad if needed, alba knuckles if needed, heartless impact PA of level 10 or less, 2 weapons with the same name with an element level attached (and make sure at least 1 has 1 affix or more; it doesn't matter if elements match or not, just that both weapons have an element), and 1 random enhancement fodder weapon if you didn't find any from questing. If you actually do have a million tomatoes, exchange 10 of them with the cooking NPC for your salad. IF WEEKLY: buy violet, synchro, and up to 10 grinders too (you want 20 in inventory, 1 for enhance quest, 1 for boosting element quest, 3 for ring enhance quest, 5 per pet)
Turn in the salad to purple girl and get her final quest: enhancing a ring; you should know have all but 1 cafe arks rewards and spam enter again, this should also unlock the salon arks quest and urgent quest arks quest too more conveniently
Step X: Urgent quest
When we get an urgent quest shows up after we get the corresponding arks mission, we drop everything and do it, waiting for UQs is incredibly inconvenient when we want this character deleted ASAP and only want to have it registered for 5 hours max
If its virtual planet, try to do that one 3 times for an extra 10 glory badges but it's not that big of a deal
Virtual planet, wopal, and apple's doritos are especially convenient for working toward the Boss Kill quests of the event, claim these quest rewards as they show up because they block each other in progression I.E. if you kill 6 bosses for the salon pass but don't claim it, additional boss kills do NOT count towards your Augment +40% reward
Step 4: Shopping plaza and your auxiliary
Go to Xia before you forget her and talk to her twice to get her orders, accept both and turn in your meat
Go to Jan and complete his weapon and social quest lines (why game, why can I not accept all of Jan's quests at the same time). THIS is why you have a random weapon and 2 Same Name weapons but walking back and forth between Dudu and Jan gets old fast regardless. Enhance your harmonizer with the fodder, enhance your Same Name weapon with its twin, and affix your gunblade with the resulting element boosted weapon while walking back to Jan in between all steps
While you are here, you might as well enhance your ring too, it should be eligible for level up if you were wearing it the whole time and you will have the rocks available from purple girl's reward. DO NOT ENHANCE BEYOND +1 however, since purple girl's quest only accepts completion if you own a BES+1 ring exactly.
Spend your remaining 5 grinders on 5 xp eggs and feed them into Wanda. If weekly, buy xp eggs for synchro and violet too
Make sure your arks rewards are completely cleared, then talk to the salon lady and make an auxiliary (mine are usually default male human hunter #1 named asdf) and claim your next arks reward: for your auxiliary, you will be double checking your arks rewards between every step so you might as well finish the low hanging fruit quests too like checking out the lookbook or the group chat. Checking out lookbook and talking to the Salon lady notably gives you 3000 fun points.
Go to your personal quarters (available from quick menu) and place your auxiliary console and summon them, claim the arks rewards for 30 photon spheres
Send them on the random franca quest then claim the arks rewards for 30 more spheres, then cancel the search and ditch the client order, the client order space is going to be convenient for Step 5
Step 5: Gambler's paradise
Enter the casino, skip the cutscene, and claim the arks rewards, it only blocks the Talk to Chip quest for a few XP but might as well unblock it
Talk to the casino quest man and take: exchange casino coins, play rappy slots, play black jack, play mesetan shooter, play arkuma slots, take a free drink, use balloons, kill nyau in shooter, kill 3 kings (longest quest but awards a caramel cube), and maybe find graffiti if you already know where it is
Exchange your 500 coins, take your free drink first for marginal (maybe fake?) benefits, and make the rounds with the each casino game, as long as arkuma slots is before black jack before mesetan shooter and you claim your arks reward in between each game, with rappy slots being played at any time. Arkuma Slots' Independence Day event gives 3 more coin passes and unlocks Black Jack's event, Black Jack's event gives 30 glory badges and unlocks Mesetan Shooter's event, Shooter's event gives a triboost.
Even if you only have 500 CC somehow, it should still be possible to do everything, since arkuma slots' event gives another 300 CC to fund all other games
Mesetan shooter is the most optional game; if you don't really care about caramel cubes or triboosters, just play bronze and get out for 2/5 mesetan related quests (I'm assuming anyone can kill a nyau) or alternatively skip this game entirely. If you do care about the caramel cube, play silver until you get 3 king kills, it may take 5-20 minutes
After turning in your boatload of gambling quests, another optional quest appears to score 500+ on arkuma slots. This is pretty easy so I usually take a quick detour to do that as well *Get back to the cafe to finish purple girl's quest line and claim the remaining arks rewards, then go to the gate area and spend your skill points and save your build because YES, this 3-5 hour long character does in fact use multiple builds.
Step 6: the home stretch to mag devices and independence but not the end
Remember Pietro? We still need his friendship card so go do Nightfall Province hard mode (your 3rd or 4th real quest if doing things right) real quick along with any matching client orders, bring the fun bots and START USING XP BOOSTERS, we need them to reach level 30
Friendship with Pietro achieved! Now bring him with you for every quest from now on, we aren't truly grinding his friendship yet but might as well start chipping at it
Get back to Xia if you killed enough falspawn (otherwise, run Ruins Normal and abandon it) and take her next set of orders, turn in your potatoes and get 1 more stamina drink
Go run the first recommended quest quickly on Normal, grab the 3 triboost quests and enjoy more marginal boosters
GIGA HARVEST: (can actually be done any time after Step 3, just posted under Step 6 since it gives xp too. Optimally done when not using an xp boost or if you have enough xp boosters/photon spheres to not care about wasted boost time, especially since you can trade your several spheres per alt for 75% XP boosters) go to your target harvesting planet on normal mode with 3 bot bodyguards, all your harvesting supplies, and a relatively clean inventory (at most, 40/50). Fish until a fever, then harvest and laugh as you level up and get free 100 stamina incredibly frequently as a level 1 harvester. In-between fevers, use stamina drinks to top off both meters and repeat the process until all harvesting sources are gone. You always want to harvest during a festival, fishing is just a means to power up the fever. This process may take up to 30 minutes if particularly lucky/unlucky.
XP egg shopping trip: top Wanda to 40 with XP eggs, repeat for viola and synchro if weekly
HOME STRETCH: Harukotan Rush Practice normal/hard mode, take all the matching client orders, bring Pietro and 2 FUN bots, pop your xp/tri boosters and repeat until you have both level 30 and the augmentation pass; 100 enemies and 3 bosses per run is very efficient for both goals; use hard mode if you need XP more, easy mode if you need boss kills more. This step may be unnecessary if you get lucky with urgent quests though, and the highroll assumption is that you only finish rush practice runs after you finish the urgent quest so UQ runs can count towards boss kills too
Step 7: Fuck you Pietro, my best friend
Now onto the main difference between my run and maples, support rolls are limited to 1/character but getting there is still tedious and some may rightfully be inclined to skip this step entirely and I would not blame you. Friendship builds with S rank quests mostly and the most efficient way to farm S ranks is to do Supress Zaudan, the first ARKS subquest, ad nauseum on normal mode with only Pietro as your partner, rushing to the end of a small map and killing 4 purple monkeys over and over again until you reach 10 friendship bars. Ugh.
For this final stretch, we will swap to FighteSummoner and equip our Alba knuckles, then put Heartless Impact on right click so that we can at least dash through this drudgery
We go to Supress Zaudan, pop a podcast or netflix, and go on autopilot for an hour, occasionally popping outside the gate to get a friendship gift. "Retry in current block" is your friend here
It appears you need to kill at least 3 normal mobs in addition to zaudans to get S ranks but don't sweat the occasional A, we are going for speed not quality and will be getting plenty of incidental kills anyways
Step 8: Why are we here, just to suffer?
If your character somehow overshot to 40 or is on their way to 50, go do Cofy's advance quest quest line as each one gives 10 capsules upon acceptance
Take her first advance quest quest, kill the Udan, abandon the quest, get Cody's new quest to kill a deeg, go to volcanoes to just kill deeg, accept Cody's last quest than abandon it without even going to the desert
If this is the day before the weekly arks missions reset, your goal is now level 50 and Step 8 now happens before Step 7 but we still abandon those first advance quests
Your build actually matters now so go do pietro's skill point quest, preferably when it can still count towards boss kill quests
We now do the classic floating facility XP grind, preferably with Pietro and 2 real people but those real people may have some complaints against a bot so you wont always be able to have both
At level 45, if you still have boss kill quests, do pietros 2nd skill point quest but otherwise skip it
at level 50, take Pietro's quests to kill super hard enemies with Wanda, viola, and synchro
Take your new weekly missions when they come and try to time them to be accomplished before the Zaudan grind if possible so you don't waste as much time
Step 7 is moved to here now, but now you have to run them at super hard and finish the 60 kills requirement for all 3 pets, yaaaaaay. At least once you finish Pietro's quests, you can swap back to normal mode
Sorry for posting this the day before weeklies reset but there should be another weekly reset before this event ends too
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